Story Time With Jonathan

For some reason I'm thinking today about some poor life choices I've made.  You've heard me talk ad nauseum about being debt-free except for the house for almost five years now--but I could have been talking about that even longer--had I been smarter.

The story starts with my experience while in broadcast school.  I headed to the Twin Cities with five maxed out credit cards and a new car loan.  Despite working a full-time job and two part-time jobs I was still struggling to pay the bills and stay current on my debts.  Then I got in a crash that totaled the car--and the insurance settlement didn't pay off what I owed on it.  I was getting calls from creditors all day.  It was then that I decided that I would not let myself get so far into debt ever again.

So after getting my first job in radio, I set about to paying off all that debt--before my student loans started kicking in.  I drove a crappy car that I bought from a friend for $300.  You can imagine what that was like.  And when that one died on me, I bought my sisters old car for $900.  I gave up golfing--and a six handicapper turned into a guy who struggled to break 95.  I ate alot of 89-cent microwave meals and cold cereal and I didn't see many movies.

After a lot of sacrifice and hard work (and a job change) I finally paid off all those credit cards and other debts.  So how did I react?  Did I start paying more than the minimum on my student loans?  Did I start a rainy day fund or start saving for house?  Nope.  What I did was immediately return to the behaviors that got me into the original trouble.

I bought a Jeep Wrangler because I could now "afford the payments".  I put my wife's engagement ring, my share of the wedding costs and our $5000 honeymoon on credit cards and I made just the minimum payments on the student loans.  I guess I thought I "deserved" all of that stuff--since I had to "sacrifice" for so long.

But then my wife found out she would be losing her job--and suddenly I realized that the hole I had dug for us was even deeper than the one I was in back in broadcast school.  Man, did I regret returning to my old free-spending ways.  It's a good thing that week 60 Minutes did its story on Dave Ramsey--showing me the way to debt-free living.  And so began another round of sacrifice and repayment.

Today, I wonder what our lives would be like if I hadn't gone back to being Mr Money-Grows-On-Trees.  Would we have been able to buy a better house earlier?  Would a "delayed honeymoon" trip to Hawaii been even better--knowing no interest would be tacked onto all of those charges? 

It's unfortunate that I had to learn the hard way the price you pay for deciding to go right back to destructive bahavior after sacrificing to get out of a big hole.  Please learn from my experience--and keep in mind today that the long-term benefits area always worth the temporary pains.

You are DENIED!!!

Did anyone see the Suze Orman Show Saturday night?  I had to attend a wedding so I missed it.  I was just wondering if there was a call from "Barry in Washington"?  It probably would have sounded something like this:

Suze--Barry in Washington!!!  Barry, what can I do for you tonight?

"Barry"--Hi Suze, I'm having a problem with a nation--I mean business that I am running.

Suze--What's the matter, Boyfriend?!?!?

"Barry"--Well, I didn't really have any experience before taking over this, uh, company and now everyone is telling met that I am running it wrong.  They all think I am spending too much money and that I am taking on too much debt.

Suze--Well tell me the numbers, let's see you you are doing.

"Barry"--OK, we make 2.6-trillion dollars a year

Suze--Boyfriend, that is amazing!!

"Barry"--but we spend 3.7-trillion a year--and our debt level is 14.6-trillion.  And now my creditors are raising my interest rates because they don't think we'll be able to pay it back.  They're just stupid right, Suze?

Suze--Are you kidding, Barry?!?!  You spend almost one and a half times what you make!  No wonder your FICO score is going down!!  You are broke, Boyfriend.  You need to stop spending money right now and get this under control!!

"Barry"--Um, I can't really do that, Suze.  I kinda promised a bunch of people that I would pay all their medical bills, and pay for their mortgages and pay for their kids' college educations and that if they didn't want to work I would pay them not to do it for a couple of years.

Suze--Barry, no wonder people are telling you need to change!  How do you make any money?

"Barry"--Well, we've got this tax--I mean sales program where half of our customers pay for all the stuff that everyone else gets.

Suze--I can't believe the half that pay can be very happy.

"Barry"--Suze, they are just a bunch of Tea Party--I mean kooks and uneducated simpletons--those who don't pay love it--because hey, who doesn't like free stuff?

Suze--Barry, can I be honest with you--I think someone else should be running your company.  Is there something else you can do?

"Barry"--I don't think so, Suze.  I'm committed to this job through next year--and besides, I don't think there's much demand for community organization anymore.  I guess I could write a third book about myself.

Suze--I'm sorry, Barry, but unless you can start getting a lot more paying customers--adn drastically lower your expenses--I can't see this business sticking around very long.

"Barry"--Well, what if I call people who don't believe in our program "fatcats" and "greedy"--will that solve the problem?

Suze--I'm letting you go Barry--goodbye my love!!

If anyone recorded that call--or can find it on Youtube--let me know.  I'd like to save it for next year.

Now Where Did I Put Those Village People 8-Tracks?

It looks like most of use can look forward to working another five years--thanks to yesterday's stock market plunge.  Hopefully in those five extra years of having to wake up at 2:45 am they will perfect the technology for me to actually do the news from my bed--napping between updates.  You would think that after 13 years I would be accustomed to getting up that early--but you never get used to it.

Anyway, it looks like the economic recovery is farther away than many of us thought it was--especially those at the White House.  Yesterday's drop--based on the economic "experts" you listen to--was due to either the debt ceiling increase bill being approved, expectations that today's new unemployment report is going to be worse than everyone expected or the continuing debt crisis in Europe. 

I guess it's telling that those who rely on Wall Street for their livelihoods are running for the hills because of the debt ceiling plan.  My guess is they agree with the hardline fiscal conservatives that we have actually fixed nothing--and that perhaps having a debt to GDP ratio worse than 1-to-1 is not a sound economic strategy. 

As far as unemployment goes, I'm not sure what we are supposed to be looking for on the horizon to give employers reason to expand their workforces.  Penalties for not providing health insurance to employees?  Increased tax rates because corporations are "greedy"?  Villainization in all of the recall ads?  I was talking with some local business owners at Waterfest last night and they were almost afraid to show their faces in the midst of so many "hardworking Wisconsin familymembers".

And then there is the European Debt Crisis.  If my retirement security is going to be tied to the financial stability of France, Spain and Cyprus--then it might be time to start living fast and dying young.  Entitlements are so entrenched in the European culture that it will likely take all out war to pry them away from those on the dole.  Historians always thought World War Three would be fought to contain Communist expansion.  It may turn out being fought to reduce Socialist influence.

Back in November of 2008 I wrote a My Two Cents piece about the Presidential election debunking the analogy from the left that it was 1980 all over again.  I wrote that we were actually reliving 1976 again--and that the worst was yet to come.  All we need now is Muslim radicals to take a few dozen hostages and for President Obama to give a televised speech lecturing us on how we need to get out of our "national malaise" and how we should just put on another sweater this winter.  1980 can't come fast enough.

Let the Man Live a Life

Can we please put an end to the criticism of President Obama's social life?  I don't mean his social agenda--that deserves plenty of criticism--but rather what the President does when he isn't "Being the President".  I turned on Fox News Channel yesterday and for half an hour the only topic of conversation was the President's "50th birthday party" last night in Chicago.  You had Karl Rove and the other usual talking heads wondering how Obama could be leaving Washington with so many problems going on right now to celebrate his birthday.  It was also pointed out a couple of times that the President has gone golfing more than 100 times since being inaugurated.

Let me point out that President Reagan spent plenty of time away from the White House during his eight years in office.  Remember all of the news footage of Ronnie on his horse, or clearing brush at his ranch--or waving as he walked away from Marine One at Camp David every weekend?  And President Eisenhower practically lived at the golf course while he was in office.  As an avid golfer myself, I'm insulted that the Commander-in-Chief shouldn't be allowed to work on his 18-handicap.

I realize that you have to "be the President" 24/7--but that doesn't mean you have to be a prisoner of the White House that whole time.  Do you really think that if President Obama spent 20-hours a day in the Oval Office that things would immediately get better?  Should he be on the phone calling employers to get a job for all those "single mothers" he mentions in his "economic hardship" speeches?  "Hi, Mr Plant Owner, this President Obama.  I just wanted you to know that even though Carrie lost her last job because she kept taking time off to be with her sick kids--you should still hire her--even though she never actually finished high school and she likes to get drunk and high a lot too."

Let's be honest, President Obama wasn't elected to the "details guy" anyway.  He didn't run on specific plans to fix the economy or balance the budget or end the Wars on Terror.  He's the "ideas guy"--like Tom Hanks' character in the movie "Big"--just an overgrown kid whose main job is just to "be cool"--and to make us feel cool too.  And what do cool guys do?  They play golf with their buddies a few times a week.  They listen to jazz bands.  They throw big 30-million dollar birthday parties.  That is what makes them cool.

So please, let President Obama get out of Washington--and be who he is.  He needs some great stories to put in his third book about himself that you know will be written after his time in office.

Quickly Sherman, to the Wayback Machine

It was unfortunate that Chinese scientists "proved" last month that time travel is physically impossible--since it ruins my goal of going back to key points in history to warn those involved of the long-term effects of their decisions.  I wouldn't try to "change" history--but rather just "tweak" it so things turn out a little better down the line.

The first stop would be the Constitutional Convention of 1787.  I would like to be on hand to offer a few suggestions for items that our Founding Fathers might want to include in the document that would guide the operation of our nation.  I'd start with adding something to that First Amendment to make it clear if contributing to a political candidate represents "freedom of speech".  Of course, after explaining what our current election process is like, Messers Jefferson, Madison and Monroe might reconsider that whole "we don't need a King" thing.

This might also be a good time to ask if carrying a gun on you is what they mean by "bear and keep arms" in the Second Amendment.  Since this was a time that an angry bear or Indian might step out of the woods at any time--I'm guessing they would say "yes".  I'll suggest they put something in there about abortion as well.  That might settle a few arguments 175-years later.

My next stop in the time machine is 1913 as voters and Congress consider the 16th Amendment--establishing the Federal Income Tax.  I would let them know that less than 100-years later, only about half of Americans will be paying any income tax--with some even getting a net gain from the process.  I'd suggest that they consider a "consumer based" form of taxation--as that would increase the amount of revenue and make sure that everyone pays "their fair share".  I'd bring the 17-thousand page Tax Code with me as well--but that might put the time machine over its weight limit.

Up next is a short hop to 1935 as Congress votes to establish the Social Security program.  Here I would warn the lawmakers that in just 70-years, it won't be that uncommon for a person to live into their 90's--meaning they would be drawing on the system for more than 25-years.  They should also know that the 20-workers-to-1-retiree ratio seen at their time will edge closer to just 2-to-1 in the next millineum.  I'd leave themn with a suggestion to consider tying the eligibility age to the life-expentency of the average American--keeping most people in the program for the ten years they anticiapted back then.

The Wayback Machine makes another short hop to 1965 as again we need to warn Congress about the impact of the Medicare program.  I'd better come armed with information on the number of people who will be enrolled in the program just 45 years later--and a price sheet showing the prohibitively high costs of some life-saving procedures that will become common place in the future.  Hopefully some of the other suggestions I have made in the past will have been adopted--so that revenue streams are bigger and eligibilities for entitlement programs are tighter.  I guess a screen capture on the 14-trillion dollar debt ceiling crisis might be just as effectivve as well.

Alas, my dream of going back to "fix" some of our modern-day problems before they start will remain just that--a dream.  Hopefully those that continue to live in an economic fantasyland won't make it any more of a nightmare going forward.

A Pat On the Back For Themselves, A Stab In the Back For Us

(One of the many weapons of satire is analogy--and I am about to lay a whole bunch of analogies on you in this My Two Cents.)


Senator Ron Johnson says the Debt Ceiling Bill is "disgusting".  While I would describe the bill as being more "gutless"--what is disgusting is the self-congratulations going on in Washington now.  Plenty of people are patting themselves on the back--and appearing on the news networks--for approving it before the default deadline.  It reminds me of the linebacker who tackles a running back after a nine-yard run on first down and gets up celebrating (like pretending to wield a Samurai sword).  Don't you think "What is that clown celebrating, that its only second and one?"

And since the the "crisis" was entirely the result of decades of deficit spending, poor exit strategies for international conflicts and continued expansion of entitlements approved BY CONGRESS ITSELF--this is like the baseball closer who walks the bases loaded, then gets the last batter to fly out to the wall celebrating out on the mound like he 'shut down" the opposition for the save. "Way to make us sweat for absolutely no good reason."

But let's not forget, this bill does little to actually reduce the deficit in the long run, so the better comparison might be the starting pitcher who walks the first three batters of the game--gives up a grand slam--walks the next three batters--gives up another grand slam--then retires the pitcher on a rocket that gets backhanded by the 3rd baseman--and pumps his fist on the mound.  "Nice job moron--we're still down eight with 26 outs to go."

And it should be pointed out that the debt ceiling increase will get us to about the 2012 election--so this is a lot like a punter backed up against the back of the endzone shanking one just past the line of scrimmage and waiting for his coverage guys to pat him on the helmet like he just boomed one down to the other team's one-yard line.  "Weren't we going for the 'big play' here Head Coach Obama, meant to turn field position and actually lead to a touchdown for future taxpayers?"

The one person who does deserve some congratulations in Washington today is Representative Gabriel Giffords--who entered the House Chambers yesterday like Willis Reed coming to the court at Madison Square Garden in Game Seven of the 1970 NBA Finals with the torn thigh muscle to inspire his New York Knicks to victory over the Lakers--to cast her vote in favor of the bill.  She was SHOT IN THE HEAD and still showed up to do her job.  Maybe Democrats in the State Senate will keep Giffords in mind the next time they think about heading to Illinois to avoid taking a vote.

However you choose to look at it, the Debt Ceiling Bill is NOT a victory for Team USA.  At best, it's a nine-point loss for a team that has lost its last ten games by at least two touchdowns.  Way to go team!!

The Poberezny Legacy

While most of us knew it was coming at some point, last week's announcement that Tom Poberezny was retiring as Chairman of the EAA and the annual Airventure--effective immediately--caught most of us by surprise.  The decision means that for the first time in the organization's history, a Poberezny will not be involved in the day-to-day operations of the EAA.

As much credit as Paul Poberezny should get for working with his friend Steve Wittman to bring the Fly In to Oshkosh--and slowly building the popularity of the event with not only pilots but also the general public as well--it was the vision of Tom who turned Airventure into the international event it now is.  It was Tom who brought high-profile planes like the Concorde, Voyager and Spaceship One to Oshkosh--and who realized that more people would attend the event if the "flight line" fences were taken down--opening the entire grounds to everyone.

It was also Tom who encouraged many of the aircraft manufacturers to make Oshkosh their showplace event for new products and marketing.  This year, we had a double-decker tent on site--raising the ante for the next few years in the manufacturers area.  And Tom has been a tireless advoacate for increasing access to aviation with things like Light Sport Pilot and fighting airport user fees.

Yes, the old-time EAA members may complain about the "interlopers" taking over their Fly-In--with the homebuilders shoved to the side and the unwashed public being allowed to stand close to their airplanes with food and drinks in their hands--but the revenue generated by the event helps keep membership dues low and makes EAA a powerful force in the aviation world.

It's too bad we have discontinued the "Key to the City" program at the Mayors Breakfast during EAA week.  Next year would be a good opportunity for all of the hotel owners, the restaurant owners, the residents who rent out their houses, the volunteer groups and all aviation enthusiasts to give a big "thank you" to Tom Poberezny for making Oshkosh famous for something other than ugly overalls.