Real Lombardi Time

Anyone who knows me knows that my number one pet peeve is when people are late.  To me, there is no greater sign of disrespect that you can show by failing to show up on time for an appointment or a deadline.  In effect you are saying to the offended party "I don't consider your time to be nearly as valuable as mine."

That is why I am perpetually early.  It always makes my wife uncomfortable when we are the first to arrive for parties or other social events.  And it is why that when someone else makes me late for something, I spend the first few minutes after arriving profusely apologizing to the host (and of course, throwing the tardy party under the bus).

So that is why I find the hubbub over the discovery of the "Lombardi Time" clock at Lambeau Field so humorous.  In case you missed it, Michelle Tafoya of NBC "broke" the story that the new clock above the Oneida Nation Gate is intentionally set 15-minutes fast.  It is done as a "tribute" to Vince Lombardi--who demanded that his players always be 15-minutes early for meetings, bus rides and practices.  Tafoya even related the story of a rookie who showed up 7 minutes before a team meeting--and was informed that he was 8-minutes "late".

While the story is cute, the "Lombardi Time" clock actually misses the point.  You see, "Lombardi Time" isn't about what the face of the time piece says.  (It's not like Vince ordered all of the clocks at the team offices to be kept 15-minutes fast).  "Lombardi Time" is about a mindset: "I know what time I need to be there--but I am going to be early anyway because this is something that is important--and I want to be prepared."

I know plenty of people who keep their clocks fast--and yet they are never early for anything.  That is because they know that the clock is fast and that they aren't actually "late".  So what is the point of keeping the clock fast? 

We've had employees here at the Radio Ranch who have lived five minutes away from the studio--and yet they were five to eight minutes late EVERY DAY.  And every day they had an excuse:  I overslept, my errands took longer than expected, I couldn't get my hair to do anything today--all met with the same "I don't care" expression on my face.  Some places even "reward" tardiness--giving workers credit for a full 15-minutes so long as they punch in at least seven minutes after the top of the hour--and believe me, there are plenty of people who take advantage of that break.

The ultimate irony about the "Lombardi Time" clock is that it was set that way back in August--but few people noticed until this week.  That's probably because nobody really cares what time it is--and that they certainly didn't worry that they might be running late.

New and NOT So Improved

You now what is my least favorite phrase in the English language (after "New government program" of course)?  "New and Improved!"  Because as things become "newer" they usually fail to be "improved".  In fact, I find that usually the product or service is worse than it was before.

Such is the case with the "New and Improved" ITunes program from Apple.  First, downloading the new program only crashed my computer three times this weekend as I tried to update it.  Then, it wouldn't allow me to sync my IPhone for a couple of hours, until I went to a non-Apple site to find the actual fix to the problem.  (Apple is under the belief that my problem doesn't exist because ITunes is "New and Improved!!"). 

And once you finally get into the program you find that it is certainly easier to find ads for songs and artists that I would never download for free in a million years--much less pay to have that crap infect my IPhone.  However, finding all of the features I actually need has become much more difficult.  Of course, I could always sit through the Kindergarten-teacher-type "Tutorial" to find out how "easy" the new ITunes is to use.  Um...If it's that easy, you wouldn't have to show me how to do it, would you?

I do my banking with a financial institution here in town that has gone to a "New and Improved" form of customer service.  Gone are the counters behind which tellers would stand waiting for your deposit or withdrawal.  That has been replaced with a bunch of small tables spread out haphazardly throughout the lobby.  Since there is no nice organized line to stand in, you are forced to kind of wander in the midst of the "teller stands" waiting for someone to call you over to help you.  In the meantime, you wonder if you are entitled to be the next person to step up, or if the lady over by the TV was here before you and should be the one to be served next.  My only guess to the advantage of this layout is that it confuses would-be bank robbers who have absolutely no idea where they have to go to hand over their threatening note.

Said financial institution has also done away with deposit and withdrawal slips as well--meaning you have to explain the sometimes complex distribution of multiple checks being deposited into multiple accounts--or multiple withdrawals from multiple accounts.  I'm guessing the incredibly poor math skills of today's American led to errors at the teller window as the numbers customers added up on the slips never matched up with the totals of the checks or cash presented with them.  Must be the result of "New and Improved" teaching techniques in the classroom.

I certainly don't want to quash innovation in the world of business and technology--just don't tell me something with more bells and whistles--but less functionality--is "improved".

Let's Not Start Tearing Down the Goalposts Just Yet

Barry is back and all is well with the world!  I have to admit I found myself thinking the sun was shining a little brighter yesterday, the air seemed a little warmer yesterday--and I would have sworn the sound of the Badger Band was wafting through the air all day yesterday.  And everywhere I went, people could barely contain the same enthusiasm.  It was almost like the word "hello" had been replaced by "Hey, Barry is back!"

And such is the power that Wisconsin's all-time winningest football coach still has on the fan base.  As I watched yesterday's press conference, I couldn't help but think of that January 2nd, 1990 presser when a younger Barry Alvarez told fans to "get their season tickets now, because you won't be able to get them soon"--and everyone responded with "yeah, right".  And his comment that "the Rose Bowl is our only goal"--that elicited the usual eye roll from those of us who had heard the same thing from Jim Hilles and Don Morton just a few seasons before.

But Barry proved all of us doubters wrong.  Camp Randall did sell out every game.  And there wasn't just one fluke Rose Bowl trip--there were three.  AND THE BADGERS WON EVERY ONE OF THEM!!  College GameDay came to Madison every year.  There was another Heisman Trophy winner and we started beating Michigan, Ohio State and Iowa regularly.  You could actually include Wisconsin in the discussion for a National Championship and not get laughed out of the room.

And that is why so many of us are so willing to believe Barry when he said yesterday "We're going out there (Pasadena) to win.  He's done it before--obviously he's going to do it again.

But as the euphoria of Thursday morning wears off, the reality of the situation sets in.  Barry is not going to the Rose Bowl with a team nearly as talented as the ones he took there in the past.  Joe Panos, Aaron Gibson and Mark Tauscher won't be putting on the Cardinal and White on January 1st.  Neither will Darrell Bevel or Brooks Bollinger.  Ron Dayne won't beating the defense into submission with bruising run after bruising run.  And Chris Chambers and Owen Daniels won't be out there catching passes against a "D" keying on the run.

I'd be willing to bet Barry doesn't even know the offensive terminology anymore, or have a copy of the playbook for that matter.  The assistant coaches upon whom he will have to lean heavily are still young and relatively inexperienced.  And those guys face a very uncertain future as well--since anyone Barry hires is going to want to bring in "his own people".  So the weeks between now and game day will also include getting some applications out and calling some of the other new head coaches in college to see if anyone is interested.  Add to that, the Stanford team that Wisconsin plays January 1 is much better than the Cardinal team they beat in 2000.

There is one thing I do feel better about with Barry at the helm--the kids on that team will play their guts out for him.  The Badger training facilities are shrines not only to Alvarez, but all of the kids that he brought in to build that program up from the junk pile 22-years ago.  The guys from Wisconsin now grew up watching those Badgers teams and Barry grind down opponents and win big game after big game--and that is part of the reason they wanted to come to Madison as well.  And given the difference that emotion can make in college sports, perhaps that desire to win one more for The Legend could give this underdog a fighting chance.

Which Gun Culture?

Thanks to Bob Costas using halftime of Sunday Night Football to pontificate on the Kansas City Chiefs murder/suicide case, there is plenty of talk about guns again--or should I say the "Gun Culture in America". Whenever I hear that phrase used I always ask "Which Gun Culture?"--because their certainly isn't one overriding set of beliefs or practices involving weapons in the US.  In fact, I would say there are at least FOUR "Gun Cultures".

The first "Gun Culture" (which Mr. Costas is apparently a member) sees guns as inherently evil--and despite being inanimate objects--capable of committing crimes and killing people on their own.  They believe that the elimination of guns in the country would instantly reduce crime and prevent anyone from dying.

The second "Gun Culture" (to which I belong) sees guns as mechanical tools.  Tools that can be used to harvest wild game, to provide personal protection, and to facilitate competition and sport.  And that like any tool, requires proper training, use and storage to be safe.

The third "Gun Culture" (to which many of Bob Costas's loudest critics belong) see guns as the embodiment of liberty and freedom.  To them, any effort to prevent any American from buying any kind of firearm is the greatest affront to the Constitution imaginable and must be opposed at all costs.

And then you have the fourth "Gun Culture" (which included the perpetrator of the Kansas City tragedy) which sees guns as the ultimate symbol of power.  A symbol that not only demands respect but punishes those who fail to show that respect.  The gun also serves as an "equalizer" between those that have--and those that have not--by allowing those without to more easily take from those who have.

So now we have the four cultures clashing again--with those in the first group trying to convince those in the second that everyone in the third are just as dangerous as those in the fourth.  And those in the third are left trying to explain away the actions of those in the fourth while trying to convince those in the second that the everyone in the first are out to destroy the country.  And those in the fourth laugh at those in the first knowing that if they were to succeed in their efforts, nothing will change for them--while those in the second and the third become more vulnerable.

So the next time you hear someone mention "eliminating the Gun Culture" in conversation, ask them which one they are talking about--so you know if they are actually serious about fixing the problem.

Why Would He Leave?

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you would know that over the weekend I retweeted a post from a CBS Sports reporter in Chicago claiming that Bret Bielema had been approached by the University of Tennessee for its vacant head coaching position.  It turns out another SEC school--Arkansas--was actually pursuing Bielema (not to say UT may not have been interested as well)--but it did not come as that big a surprise to me yesterday when the Coach announced he was leaving Madison for Fayetteville. 

The leaked information did catch plenty of people off guard, with sports call in shows inundated with listeners wondering "How could he leave Wisconsin?  It's the best job in all of sports!  He'll never be as successful anywhere else as he has been here!"  Well, if you are able to put the homerism aside for a minute, you can see why Bielema's move makes all the sense in the world.

The first--and the most important reason he's leaving--is cash.  Bielema will be getting a pay raise in excess of a half million dollars a year to coach the Razorbacks.  Six years, $3.2 million annually is a deal that he probably wasn't going to get at Wisconsin.  And he can take that money without being reminded by every professor on campus, state employee union leader or Democrat in the Legislature that he is the "Highest Paid State Employee in Arkansas" as he was reminded constantly in Madison.

Secondly, the SEC is just a better football conference.  This of course is a double-edged sword.  Sure, you can afford to lose a conference game and still have a shot to make the BCS Championship--or the new four-team playoff on the horizon--but you are also competing every week against a team ranked in the top ten in the country.  And SEC fans take their football a little more seriously than us Big Ten folks do.  8-5 won't sit well with the boosters helping to pay off your players for very long (oops, did I say that out loud?).  However, it is easier to get "less academically gifted" players who can run 4.3 40's into your program in the SEC than it is in the Big Ten.

And finally, Bielema gets to be his own man at Arkansas.  He's not "the guy who replaced the legend (Barry Alvarez) that turned the program around from a national laughingstock into a national powerhouse".  And that "legend" won't be his boss in Fayetteville either--reminding you that he went 3-0 in Rose Bowls while your record is 0-2.  Instead, Bret will be "the guy who replaced the crazy man (John L. Smith) who was the emergency replacement for the guy (Bobby Petrino) who crashed his motorcycle and nearly killed himself and his 20-something year old mistress whom he also helped to land a high-paying position within the Athletic Department".

Unlike some of the haters, I'm not going to say "good riddance" to Bret Bielema.  I thought he did a good job of maintaining many of the traditions of Wisconsin football.  He didn't bring in a spread offense and throw the ball around 75 times a game to "establish his own program".  He took the fundamentals established by Barry Alvarez--big, talented offensive linemen, a tandem of workhorse, explosive running backs, and a ball control style of offense that always kept the Badgers in the game.  And perhaps most importantly to me: HE NEVER LOST PAUL BUNYAN'S AXE TO MINNESOTA!!!!!  9-0!!!  USUALLY RUNNING UP THE SCORE IN THE PROCESS!!!!

Hopefully, his replacement just does a better job of coaching special teams, managing end-of-game situations and winning in Pasadena.

A Not So Charitable Future

After dropping coins in the Red Kettles last week and driving past the "thermometer" tracking the donations to the United Way, I've come to the realization that I am going to miss charity.  I'm not talking about those seasonal campaigns, but the overall role that charity has played in our society for centuries-- and a role that will be shrinking in the future.

2013 will be the final year of non-profits as we have known them for generations.  Starting in 2014--with the Individual Mandate provision of the Affordable Care Act going into effect--we will no longer need free medical clinics, like the one at Father Carr's Place 2 B here in Oshkosh.  All of those served at Saint Francis will now have health insurance (paid for with federal subsidies) that they can use at the same clinics, hospitals and pharmacies that the "more fortunate" of us have been using for decades.  The Tri-County Dental Clinic can retire their almost-brand-new $250-thousand mobile clinic--as the ACA mandates dental coverage for those under the age of 21.  Those kids currently being served by the charity program at school, can now get excused absences to go the dentist's office just like their other classmates.

The days of the food pantry are numbered as well.  The expansion of the Food Stamps program included in the latest version of the Farm Bill will give more of those currently needing food donated to them Quest Cards they can use at the grocery store--just like the rest of us.  And with more kids enrolling in the Free and Reduced School Lunch and Breakfast program (which is now being run during summer vacation as well in some districts), low-income families have less need to cook meals at home.

Toys for Tots and the annual Oshkosh Fire Department Toy Drive will eventually wind down--as free contraceptives and guaranteed access to abortions decrease the number of children born out of wedlock to single mothers and families that can't afford to buy Christmas gifts.  That is if Christmas is even still being celebrated a couple of generations from now.

And the biggest blow to charities will come in the inevitable tax code reform needed to fund our growing Federal and State Governments.  The charitable donation write off is one of the items on the table for elimination as we look to close "the loopholes that the rich and corporations use to avoid paying taxes".  I know it might sound callous, but a tax write off serves as a motivator for making charitable donations--and without it, many will be inclined to give less.  Of course, we will be able to rationalize it by pointing to all of the programs I mentioned before and saying "I gave at the office".

The Grasshoppers Are Killing the Ants

It's beginning to look like "My Two Cents" is going to become an on-going series of reactions to the War On Personal Responsibility being waged in Washington.  First, it was increased health insurance premiums so your co-workers' 25-year old "kids" can be included on your company's plan, and so that those who absolutely cannot contain their urges can get free contraceptives and so that those with cirrhosis of the liver from excess drinking and lung cancer from smoking can be guaranteed coverage for their self-inflicted chronic conditions.  Then it was the use of tax dollars to keep people in houses they can't afford and never should have thought about buying.  Then it was new lower limits on Flex Accounts and increased taxes on Health Savings Accounts.

Now the next front will be opened on our retirement funds.  The American Society of Pension Professionals and Actuaries (doesn't that sound like a bunch of fun people to hang out with?) is out with a warning that the Fiscal Cliff agreement could include an end to the tax-exempt status of 401(k)'s.  http://www.cnbc.com/id/49976741

Currently, 401(k) contributions are pre-tax.  It was set up that way as an incentive for people to save for their own retirement--rather than depend on Social Security and Medicare to provide for their every need beyond the age of 65.  But the ASPPA fears (and rightfully so) that Democrats will take away that tax exempt status as it sees a giant pot of money available for "redistribution".  And we can pretty much assume that the tax code won't be changed to make the 401k) withdrawals in retirement tax-free, meaning that we will be DOUBLE TAXED on our contributions!  What's more, most 401(k) contributions are made during our periods of highest income, meaning we are paying the highest tax rates we'll ever pay--as opposed to the lower rates many of us will pay in retirement.

The unfortunate reality is that this "new revenue stream"--as this tax increase will be sold to us--still won't come close to offset the increased spending already approved in Washington--so Democrats will have to look for other options.  The next logical choice would be to end the tax-exemption on Roth IRA distributions.  Here is another giant pot of money just waiting to be "redistributed".  The logic will be "these are capital gains that aren't being taxed--and that's not 'fair'"  And with increased capital gains taxes already on the table from the Obama Administration, the incentive to put money away for the future becomes less and less powerful for every generation.

It's obvious that Aesop wasn't living in a period of Democratic control of government--otherwise his fable about the "Ant and the Grasshopper" would have finished with jackasses taking the food away from the Ants to "redistribute" to the Grasshoppers.