Allegorical Malapropisms

President Obama and his speechwriters really need to work on the analogies they use to compare the operation of Government to how things work in the "real world".

Last week in his speech from the Rose Garden, the President drew criticism for comparing the major malfunctions of healthcare.gov and the ObamaCare sign up process on state-run sites to a minor security issue with Apple's new iOS7 operating system.  What the President and those who put the words in his mouth seem to have forgotten is that anyone unhappy with their iPhone or iPad can select several other product options in the marketplace.  And that no one is required by Federal law and the threat of penalty to own an Apple product.

A more correct comparison would have gone like this:

"The major problems with healthcare.gov and the state-run sites is much like another Government entity: the DMV.  You know that it won't be open at times convenient to you.  You know that you will have a long wait with a bunch of other people to get service.  And you know that once you get up to the counter you will have filled out the wrong form--or you won't have the information along with you to properly fill out the forms--so you have to start the whole process over again.  But does that mean that you don't renew your driver's license? No.  You put up with the Government incompetence and the hassle because you know if you don't, the police (or in the case of ObamaCare, the IRS) will keep busting you and you will have to pay a bunch of fines."

The President and his TelePrompter goofed again during yesterday's press conference at the White House--comparing Congress' failure to approve another increase in the Debt Ceiling to someone refusing to make their mortgage or car loan payment.  Actually, most of the borrowing the Fed has to do is to pay off existing debt, so a more accurate comparison would have gone something like this:

"Now Congress refusing to raise the Debt Ceiling again is like the average American who has been living well beyond his or her means for decades refusing to call Bank of America to request a credit limit increase so they can use the balance transfer checks they got in the mail this week to pay off the minimum balances due on their Discover, American Express, Chase Sapphire, Capital One, Delta SkyMiles, Lowes, Home Depot, Menards, Kohl's, JC Penney, Macy's, Shell Rewards, Best Buy, Amazon, Victoria's Secret and Sears cards.  Obviously, this make no fiscal sense."

I think you would agree these allegorical references capture the problems in Washington far more accurately--and would certainly help all Americans to properly place the blame.

 

The Worst Person in Sports

With apologies to Keith Olberman (whom I believe has brought his "Worst Person in the World" skit from his old MSNBC show to his new nightly program on ESPN2), I would like to nominate someone for the Worst Person in Sports.

When I started formulating this column, I thought the nod would go to Dominic Raiola--the Detroit Lions center, who on Sunday spent the pre-game warm-ups screaming profanities and slurs at members of the University of Wisconsin marching band before they performed the National Anthem.  What I find interesting is that a 295-pound guy is calling a 250-pound kid "fat". And what I find most disgusting is that Raiola carries the captain's "C" on his jersey.  As I tell the kids who come out for captains' meetings when I ref basektball, they should be proud to have been selected as captains and that we expect them to be leaders of their teams.  I also wonder what reception Raiola will get from his brother, Donovan--who just happened to play at Wisconsin--and didn't seem to be nearly as big a douchebag as his brother.

But what I realized as I spent more time thinking about it, is that the Dominic Raiola incident is just the latest in a long line of truly bad behavior from various members of the Detroit Lions.  I'm sure Packers fans still remember Ndamukong Suh stomping on Evan Dietrich-Smith's head a few years back.  Not to mention his "accidental" kick to the groin of Houston's Matt Schaub on Thanksgiving Day.  He even was flagged for trying to trip Aaron Rodgers this past Sunday. And the Lions misbehavior extends off the field as well.  Six players were arrested in the 2012 off-season.  And Titus Young (while he had been cut by the team a few weeks earlier) was arrested twice in ONE DAY earlier this year.

All of this can be traced back to one person--who seems to have made it his mission to make the Lions the "baddest" team in the league--Head Coach Jim Schwartz.  Schwartz himself has even gotten into the punk parade--challenging 49er's Head Coach Jim Harbaugh to a fight on the field after Harbaugh "congratulated him a little too aggressively" after the game.

Teams in all sports take on the personality of their coaches.  If a head man is disciplined and detail-oriented--his teams tend to be disciplined and don't beat themselves.  If a coach is hands-off and doesn't hold guys accountable--his teams tend to be sloppy.  And when a guy thinks he's the toughest dude--but is actually just a bully--his players go out and act just like Jim Schwartz's Lions act--week after week after week.

Believe me, Detroit players wouldn't stomp on opponents, ridicule college kids and ride around drunk and high if their head coach made it clear that such behavior would not be tolerated.  And that is what makes Jim Schwartz the Worst Person in Sports.  Of course, if owner William Clay Ford, Sr continues to keep Schwartz as his coach, that might make him the next candidate for the "honor".

Save the Burgeoning Arts!!

For some reason, Friday turned into "Save the Arts Day" here at the Radio Ranch.  We had pianist Alpin Hong stop by the WOSH studios in the morning to promote his appearance that night at the Grand Opera House--and to talk about how he visits schools wherever he performs to give free shows for kids in order to "save his art form".  A little later in the day, the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center sent us a press release about an event they held with area teachers showing them how "the arts" can be used to improve performance in the classroom and even deal with issues like bullying.  The money for the program came from a Kennedy Center grant to "preserve the arts in schools".  And then in the afternoon, came the story that the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra had posted a $1.8-MILLION loss in their last fiscal year--touching off a debate on how to "save the Symphony!"

I'm always skeptical of these "save the arts" efforts because "the arts" seem to be burgeoning in today's society.  I can turn on my TV and find hundreds of outlets featuring comedy, drama and musical performance.  Nearly any piece of music ever recorded is just a few mouse clicks away.  And billions of photographs, illustrations, paintings and animations are available on millions of websites to be viewed in high-definition brilliance.  One could argue that this is the greatest period ever for artists of all types--as the access available to them and their audiences has never been as wide as it is now.

What is being "threatened" is a very narrow band of "the arts" as defined by a stuffy few (usually academics) who like to use their expertise in the genre as proof that they are "smarter" and "more refined" than the general masses.  And these "arts" are usually confined to and controlled by an expensive infrastructure.  One cannot teach one's self to play Beethoven "properly"--you must learn from an instructor (with a masters degree or a doctorate).  You cannot perform opera in a community center--you must have an acoustically-perfect opera house (constructed with public tax dollars).  Paintings cannot be "fully appreciated" by viewing them in a coffee table book or on a computer screen--they must be seen in person (from a safe distance) at large museums (maintained with more public tax dollars).

As much as "supporters of the arts" like to think that their forms of entertainment are somehow above the economic realities of needing to be self-sufficient, the reality is that what passes for "fine art" today is just what got the most financial backing at the time of its creation.  You don't think Bach, DaVinci, and Wagner didn't expect to get paid for their songs, paintings and operas?  They had wealthy, private "patrons" who gave them financial support.  There were probably thousands of other pianists and painters who produced just as good of work--but nobody was giving them a penny--and they had to hang it up.  People vote with their pocketbooks, and today's society has decided that it appreciates other forms of "art"--and no amount of taxpayer funded school programs are going to change that.

*FacePalm*

If you see me out and about and notice that my face looks a little puffy and bruised, that's from slapping my forehead repeatedly while listening back to our interview yesterday with the supervisor of the Healthcare Exchange signup program here in Winnebago County.  It turns out that Wisconsin is no different from the rest of the nation in that few people have been able to get into the exchange website to sign up for their federally-mandated coverage.  What gets me is the matter-of-fact way that Anne said it was no surprise to them:

"You know, this is not unusual.  When a new program starts that we administer--no matter what the program and no matter whose in charge of it--this is pretty normal at the beginning.  So it's not scaring us, I guess."

The only thing missing from the end of that answer is "Well, we are talking about the Government here."


There is a good reason why we have come to accept this type of incompetence--those of us actually footing the bill for the exchange websites aren't the ones actually using it.  President Obama tried to compare the exchange site "glitches" with the new iOS7 operating system from Apple.  But the iOS problem was with a little used security feature.  Everybody was still able to use their iPhones and iPads (which, by the way, they are not federally-mandated to buy).  Believe me, Apple wouldn't be the most valuable brand in the world if every time they launched a new product, consumers had to wait a few weeks for it to actually work.

I remember when the Oshkosh Common Council was voting years ago to discontinue garbage pickup at apartment buildings.  Not a single tenant came down to the meeting to complain "I'm a taxpayer and I demand to receive the same services that everyone else is getting!"   No, it was only the landlords who came down to complain, because they would still have to pay the property taxes--AND the the cost of hiring a private collection company.

 Because the Federal Government is overseeing the Wisconsin exchange, we don't know how much it cost to set up the registration website--but in California, theirs cost $313-MILLION--and it works worse than ours. I know that we opponents of ObamaCare are covertly cheering the myriad problems with its implementation as yet another sign of the incompetence of this Administration--but we should still expect better performance from our tax dollars.

Enjoying the "Death of the Planet"

I had the strangest thought the other day while I was playing golf in shirtsleeves and shorts here in October: What do Climate Change Alarmists think on days like we have had here in the Fox Valley this week?  An entire week of high temperatures 15 to 20 degrees above normal ioncreases the likelihood that we will see another one or two tenths of a degree annual temperature increase this year--adding to the impending "disaster" awaiting the planet (until the next Ice Age starts in about 2,000 years).

Do the alarmists call the TV stations to complain about how cheerful and happy the weathermen and the news anchors appear when they talk about above-average temperatures?  Do they demand that forecasts of upper 70's to around 80 include a disclaimer that this is "obviously not right and is proof that we have passed the point of no return"?

When they are buying their fair-trade-certified, soy mocha latte in the 100% recycled content cup, do they shoot angry glares at the others in the coffee shop smiling and laughing about the warmer weather?  I bet they mutter under their breaths "I hope your great, great, great, great, great grandchildren enjoy going to "Underwater Disney World in what's left of Florida".

As they drive by schools in their Priuses, do they spy the kids running around with no jackets on in the warm sun during recess or gym class and think about pulling into the parking lot to demand the teachers bring them inside immediately to watch Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth and to write essays about how "sad they will be" when there are no more polar bears? 

At the Farmers Market do they complain to the vendor with the certified-organic, vegan products about how the extended growing seasons will only "put more money into the pockets of those greedy bastards at Monsanto and Archer Daniels Midland with their genetically-altered, drought and disease-resistant super-crops."

And did they cheer when the Old Farmers Almanac predicted a colder and snowier than normal winter for the Great Lakes region this year--because that is "what's needed" to get temperatures back down to "what they should be"--even if it means greater danger to senior citizens trying to clear their driveways and that it will cost low-income families more to heat their homes?

The next time I see a miserable looking person getting out of a vehicle plastered with Obama/Biden and Russ Feingold bumper stickers, I'll have to ask them "How about this weather?"

The Sad Truth Behind the Rhetoric

While I'm sure it wasn't intended to be that way, I found "President Obama's message to Republicans in Congress using the media rather than actual face-to-face negotiations" yesterday rather insightful.  Actually, it was the last couple of minutes that contained anything of value.  The dog and pony show with the human backdrop of all the people who couldn't afford health insurance--but who could afford to travel to Washington DC on a workday afternoon to stand on a platform for ten minutes on national TV--was just the usual fluff from this administration.  But the final few minutes got to the heart of what the government shutdown is really all about: This country is way too far in debt.

The President pointed out that the continuing resolution hung up in Congress right now isn't about keeping National Parks, the Smithsonian and NASA operating right now: "It does not authorize anybody to spend any new money whatsoever. All it does is authorize the Treasury to pay the bills on what Congress has already spent."  We've already borrowed the money to run the Federal Government for this year--we just need to pay for what it cost to run it last year, or two years ago, or five years ago or heck, maybe even ten years ago.

The President then tried to compare the situation in Washington to that faced by debt-addled Americans at home: "If you buy a car and you've got a car note, you do not save money by not paying your car note. You're just a deadbeat. If you buy a house, you don't save money by not authorizing yourself to pay the mortgage. You're just going to be foreclosed on your home. That's what this is about."  I had to take to Twitter in the seconds following that phrase to remind the President that you actually save money by NOT BORROWING TO BUY A CAR and by PAYING OFF YOUR MORTGAGE AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!

And then finally, the President had this line--which was perhaps the most insightful of the entire speech: "And I want to underscore the fact that Congress doesn't just have to end this shutdown and reopen the government; Congress generally has to stop governing by crisis."  If you ask anyone who is--or who has been--in over their heads in debt, they will tell you that life is nothing but managing crisis after crisis.  There is the car break down, the kids get sick, their hours at work get cut--all at a time when you are least able to afford them.  However, these are all events that families with their economic affairs in order handle with little or no stress.

It should be pointed out that the continuing resolution battle is just a prelude to the fight coming up over raising the Debt Ceiling AGAIN--which has to happen in the next two weeks.  Let's hope our President doesn't have to go out there before the cameras and sound like a desperate consumer begging CitiBank to raise his credit card limit while the balance is 20-years past due.

Huh......Whut?

The big day is finally here--the day when the millions of Americans "desperate" to get health insurance can sign up for plans available from the new state exchanges.  And the response from a majority of the country is....."Huh? Whut?"

A new survey by the Kaiser Foundation finds the majority of Americans have no idea what is going on with the Affordable Care Act.  Two-thirds don't know what is in the law (even though Democrats passed it so everybody could find out) and could not tell you how it is going to affect them.  I can see how this very minor new law could have slipped past everyone's attention.  I mean there was hardly any media coverage of it in the 2008 Presidential campaign, the 2009 Christmas Eve vote to approve it, the voter backlash against it, the multiple efforts to repeal it in the House, all of the President's rallies and town hall meetings to promote it, the 2012 Presidential campaign, the delay of the business mandate and now the partial Government shutdown over another effort to delay it.  Perhaps if Kanye West, one of the Kardashians, Hunter Moore or Miley Cyrus tweeted about ObamaCare, more people would know about it.

What I find most interesting in this survey is that among the uninsured--the people who will be impacted the greatest by the ACA--the level of ignorance is a full 88%.  If these people are truly "desperate" to get health insurance, they sure have a funny way of displaying that desperation.  I know that if I had been trying for years to secure something as important as health insurance and it had been out of my reach--the minute it might become available to me I would be doing everything I could to make sure I knew how to make that happen.  And even if I didn't actually want it, I would still try to find out how to avoid the tax penalty for failure to enroll. 

That must be why those in Human Services say they are less concerned about today's start of the exchange sign-up period and are more concerned about the December 15th deadline to enroll in plans for 2014.  They know that the vast majority of those 14-million uninsured people that will cost taxpayers a TRILLION dollars over the next decade will actually have to be dragged--some kicking and screaming--over the finish line.