It's time again for Bold Predictions on the upcoming Wisconsin Badger Football season! For the first time since Barry Alvarez first stepped onto the Madison campus, there is real uncertainty about what kind of team the Badgers will field. Will Gary Andersen give us the Ground and Pound team that we have all come to know and love--and that has produced six Big Ten Championships? Or will Wisconsin become another of those teams running the Spread-Read-Option that is ruining football? And how will the switch to the 3-4 Defense work?
Week 1, vs. UMass--I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that the Badgers actually lost this game 10-5 and the folks at Camp Randall were not too happy. Hopefully my powers of premonition aren't that great and the Badgers get by the Minutemen Saturday 38-13.
Week 2 vs Tennessee Tech--I can't wait for the NCAA's ban on these matchups against Football Championship Subdivision games goes into effect. Wisconsin rolls 44-13 over the Golden Eagles (just like whipping up on Marquette in hoops!).
Week 3 at Arizona State--I like these late night non-conference games. Nothing like an extra ten hours of "prep time" to really get you in the mood for a game. Plus, Bucky always seems to be involved in exciting nailbiters out west--so I'll go with a UW win over the Sun Devils 23-21 on a last second field goal.
Week 4 vs Purdue--Alright, now the real games start. The Boilermakers always stink on the road, so I'll go Badgers 36-24.
Week 5 at Ohio State--I'm hoping by this point in the season that Coach Andersen realizes that he needs to be giving the ball to Melvin Gordon about 30-times a game and the Badgers grind out a tough road win over the Buckeyes--but that probably isn't going to happen. Urban Meyer has fun running it up on the three-time defending conference champs 48-17.
Week 6 vs Northwestern--Games with the Wildcats are always crazy shootouts, so I'll take the Badgers to bounce back from their first loss of the season with a 71-64 double overtime win--forcing the band to perform a rare 7th Quarter Show.
Week 7 at Illinois--The Illini will be the most improved team in the conference this year--and Wisconsin will be coming down from the crazy win the week before. This will be Bucky's "head scratcher" loss for this season 31-24.
Week 8 at Iowa--I have a theory that Bret Bielema threw games against his alma mater. Gary Andersen went to Utah and doesn't care about the Hawkeyes. Wisconsin wins 35-20.
Week 9 vs BYU--This game is personal for me. My brother-in-law went to BYU and has been talking junk ever since this game was announced. I'll save all my talking for after the 53-28 whipping Bucky is going to put on the Cougars.
Week 10 vs Indiana--Indiana will likely have one of the highest-scoring offenses in the country--to go along with one of the worst defenses. Bucky gets a workout doing his pushups in a 52-45 win over the Hoosiers.
Week 11 at Minnesota--One of the best things about the Bret Bielema era in Madison is that he never lost to the Golden Gophers--and he took great relish in running up the score in all of those victories. Paul Bunyon's Axe stays in Madison for the TENTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR 77-10 Wisconsin.
Week 12 vs Penn State--With nothing to play for except a better 2nd tier New Year's Day Bowl, the Badgers pull out a sluggish win over the Nittany Lions 23-20 to finish the regular season 10-2, 6-2 in the Big Ten and in second place in the Whatever We Are Calling It Until We Go To Logical Geography-Based Divisions Next Year Division.
January 1st vs Mississippi State in the Capital One Bowl--After three years in Pasadena, the Badgers wrap up this season in their second favorite spot--Orlando. Unfortunately, the results are about the same as several other trips to Disney--as the Bulldogs run all over Wisconsin 34-17.
All of this goes out the window of course if Andersen can't decide on a starting quarterback the entire season--and fails to realize that Melvin Gordon is a horse and needs to run the ball on just about every play. Hopefully it's fun again this year.
ON WISCONSIN!!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Nope, Nothing To Cut Here
Whenever the conversation turns to reductions (in the increase in spending) in government programs, the tried and true response from Democrats is "Now is not the time to cut, because demand is too great!" If a recent rash of Food Stamps fraud cases in Green Bay is any indication, the demand is coming from all the wrong people.
This week, police busted the owner and an employee of Billy Goats Pub for accepting payment for booze in the form of Quest cards from customers. The owner and the employee would then use the cards to buy food that they sold or gave away in the bar. Now before you anoint those two "criminal masterminds", I should point out that they got the idea after their customers suggested it to them. It was the "struggling" FoodShares recipients who wanted to sell their cards--and the folks at Billy Goats were willing to take them up on that offer.
The Billy Goats incident comes after another Green Bay business specializing in the sale of booze got busted for the same scam last year. The owners of Beach Road Liquors were accused of accepting Quest cards as payment on alcohol and cigarettes and then turning around to make their own purchases with the taxpayer money. It appears their going rate was the same as in the Billy Goats scheme--fifty-cents on the dollar--which the "struggling" FoodShares recipients were more than happy to take.
And let's not forget the "kindhearted" operator of a Green Bay homeless shelter who was making the men staying there turn over their Quest cards to him--so that he could buy groceries for everyone staying there--whether they were eligible for FoodShares or not. He recently reached a plea deal with prosecutors where he will avoid jail time and instead will pay a fine. The other two cases are still pending in the courts.
What I find interesting is that we hear plenty about the business owners who take the Food Stamps--but we never hear about the people selling them off. They are never named in the criminal complaints, and charges never seem to be filed against them--even though they are just as complicit in the crime as those giving them the cash. It doesn't send much of a "message to others" if only those who are getting the illegal benefits are the one's getting punished. Add to that, the policy of "no questions asked" replacement of "lost" Quest cards--and you can see why the sellers fear no repercussions. (Plus, efforts to end the practice of easy card replacement by Republicans are attacked as being "racist" and as attempts to "shame the poor")
And don't tell me about how these are "isolated incidents". If you don't think the same kind of selling of Quest cards isn't taking place in Oshkosh and Manitowoc and Wausau and most certainly in Milwaukee--then you are a fool. It just so happens that Green Bay police are trying to do something about it.
Anyways, when your friendly neighborhood liberal goes on his next diatribe about how "cutting" into the billions of dollars in increases in Food Stamps will leave people going hungry, just reassure them that the money Republicans want to take out will come from those who obviously didn't need it in the first place.
This week, police busted the owner and an employee of Billy Goats Pub for accepting payment for booze in the form of Quest cards from customers. The owner and the employee would then use the cards to buy food that they sold or gave away in the bar. Now before you anoint those two "criminal masterminds", I should point out that they got the idea after their customers suggested it to them. It was the "struggling" FoodShares recipients who wanted to sell their cards--and the folks at Billy Goats were willing to take them up on that offer.
The Billy Goats incident comes after another Green Bay business specializing in the sale of booze got busted for the same scam last year. The owners of Beach Road Liquors were accused of accepting Quest cards as payment on alcohol and cigarettes and then turning around to make their own purchases with the taxpayer money. It appears their going rate was the same as in the Billy Goats scheme--fifty-cents on the dollar--which the "struggling" FoodShares recipients were more than happy to take.
And let's not forget the "kindhearted" operator of a Green Bay homeless shelter who was making the men staying there turn over their Quest cards to him--so that he could buy groceries for everyone staying there--whether they were eligible for FoodShares or not. He recently reached a plea deal with prosecutors where he will avoid jail time and instead will pay a fine. The other two cases are still pending in the courts.
What I find interesting is that we hear plenty about the business owners who take the Food Stamps--but we never hear about the people selling them off. They are never named in the criminal complaints, and charges never seem to be filed against them--even though they are just as complicit in the crime as those giving them the cash. It doesn't send much of a "message to others" if only those who are getting the illegal benefits are the one's getting punished. Add to that, the policy of "no questions asked" replacement of "lost" Quest cards--and you can see why the sellers fear no repercussions. (Plus, efforts to end the practice of easy card replacement by Republicans are attacked as being "racist" and as attempts to "shame the poor")
And don't tell me about how these are "isolated incidents". If you don't think the same kind of selling of Quest cards isn't taking place in Oshkosh and Manitowoc and Wausau and most certainly in Milwaukee--then you are a fool. It just so happens that Green Bay police are trying to do something about it.
Anyways, when your friendly neighborhood liberal goes on his next diatribe about how "cutting" into the billions of dollars in increases in Food Stamps will leave people going hungry, just reassure them that the money Republicans want to take out will come from those who obviously didn't need it in the first place.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Man, I Feel Like a Woman
And just when you think life couldn't get any stranger, along comes a notice from the Associated Press that we reporters are to "Use Private Chelsea E. Manning and female pronouns for the soldier formerly known as Bradley Manning, per her wishes to live as a woman."
In case you missed it last week, Manning announced after his conviction and sentence for espionage that he wants a sex change operation and hormone therapy while he is locked up in the brig. I--and a number of others--find the timing of this declaration to be a bit dubious. Had Manning made this declaration prior to his arrest for leaking documents to Wikileaks, he would have been discharged--as that is the Army's policy on transgender issues. Now that he is a military prisoner, he cannot be discharged. Secondly, now that Manning is a "ward of the state" if you will, the medical expenses for the sex-change procedure would have to be covered by we the taxpayers. We may not have to worry about that, since military policy does not provide for sex change procedures or hormone-therapy to prisoners--but expect plenty of "outrage" from the left and calls to overturn that provision. And finally, Manning decides it's time to live as a woman right after he is ordered to spend 35-years hard time in a men's prison--which by all accounts, can be pretty darn nasty for those seen as being weak by certain segments of the population.
Now for those of us in the journalistic field, the AP decision raises some very difficult questions. Is gender now to be considered what a person thinks they are, or what genitalia nature gave them? Often times, we in the press are provided only basic information on people in the early stages of many breaking news events. Releases and statements on car crashes, house fires and criminal arrests usually include just gender, age and hometown. So how are we to accurately process the gender information given to us by less "politically sensitive" law enforcement officials? Let me give you an example
One person is killed and two others are injured in a Winnebago County crash. The sheriff's department says a car driven by a person with male sexual organs--but an unknown gender declaration--ran a stop sign along County Road X and collided with a vehicle operated by a person with a believed female gender identity around 6:00 last night. The driver believed to be a man was declared dead at the scene. The person with female genitalia was transported to the hospital with life threatening injuries. Her passenger, a three year with male sexual organs but who is too young to have established a gender identity, was treated for minor injuries.
And then we in the press wonder how we come in below politicians in the "Most Admired Careers" polls every year.
In case you missed it last week, Manning announced after his conviction and sentence for espionage that he wants a sex change operation and hormone therapy while he is locked up in the brig. I--and a number of others--find the timing of this declaration to be a bit dubious. Had Manning made this declaration prior to his arrest for leaking documents to Wikileaks, he would have been discharged--as that is the Army's policy on transgender issues. Now that he is a military prisoner, he cannot be discharged. Secondly, now that Manning is a "ward of the state" if you will, the medical expenses for the sex-change procedure would have to be covered by we the taxpayers. We may not have to worry about that, since military policy does not provide for sex change procedures or hormone-therapy to prisoners--but expect plenty of "outrage" from the left and calls to overturn that provision. And finally, Manning decides it's time to live as a woman right after he is ordered to spend 35-years hard time in a men's prison--which by all accounts, can be pretty darn nasty for those seen as being weak by certain segments of the population.
Now for those of us in the journalistic field, the AP decision raises some very difficult questions. Is gender now to be considered what a person thinks they are, or what genitalia nature gave them? Often times, we in the press are provided only basic information on people in the early stages of many breaking news events. Releases and statements on car crashes, house fires and criminal arrests usually include just gender, age and hometown. So how are we to accurately process the gender information given to us by less "politically sensitive" law enforcement officials? Let me give you an example
One person is killed and two others are injured in a Winnebago County crash. The sheriff's department says a car driven by a person with male sexual organs--but an unknown gender declaration--ran a stop sign along County Road X and collided with a vehicle operated by a person with a believed female gender identity around 6:00 last night. The driver believed to be a man was declared dead at the scene. The person with female genitalia was transported to the hospital with life threatening injuries. Her passenger, a three year with male sexual organs but who is too young to have established a gender identity, was treated for minor injuries.
And then we in the press wonder how we come in below politicians in the "Most Admired Careers" polls every year.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
You Are Getting Played
Apparently, an "entertainer" did something that a bunch of people found offensive this week. I didn't witness the act myself, but there sure was a lot of talk about it yesterday on Twitter, blogs, the TV morning shows and radio talk shows. Everywhere you turned, you had parents, family advocates and even other "entertainers" expressing their disgust and outrage that the "children of America had to be exposed to that smut." Those comments were accompanied by calls for public apologies from both the "entertainer" and the network that aired the show.
But while everyone, everywhere is up in arms about this, said "entertainer" and that network couldn't be any happier. You see, all of those upset folks have fallen into the same trap that has been employed by so many other charlatans--any publicity is good publicity. As we are seeing now, there is an entire cottage industry built around this type of boorish behavior.
How many people do you think--having missed the original airing--will make sure to tune in for the multitude of replays of the show on that network? And that viewing drives ratings--which sells advertising--which makes money. And how many people who missed the original airing--or who just want to "double check" what they did see the first time--went to Youtube to view the "performance" again? That drives up page views--which sells advertising--which makes money. And how many closet pedophiles heard about or saw the peformance and downloaded a song or an album or a video or bought a concert ticket of that "entertainer" hoping for a similar cheap thrill? That puts money in the pockets of the entertainer, the agent, and the record label. And how many people will want to know the next move from that entertainer--and will log on to sites like TMZ or Perez Hilton or Entertainment Tonight or will tune into Good Morning America? You can hear the cash registers ringing left and right.
While it might make you feel better to call a talk show and vent your frustration and concern about "kids and society today", you are just playing into the hands of these people. You know what would have been an even more powerful response to this "performance"? Silence. What if the entire arena had just done nothing when that act ended? No cheers, no boos--just deafening quiet. Do you think the "entertainer" would have received a very clear message? And I can guarantee the calls between agents and promoters would have been in full-blown panic mode if the Monday morning shows spent their entire time talking about Syria gassing its own people and radiation-contaminated water leaking from the Fukushima power plant into the Pacific Ocean--all the while album sales remained stagnant.
Just remember the next time an "entertainer" goes "way over the line": a provocateur who doesn't provoke anyone just looks like a fool.
But while everyone, everywhere is up in arms about this, said "entertainer" and that network couldn't be any happier. You see, all of those upset folks have fallen into the same trap that has been employed by so many other charlatans--any publicity is good publicity. As we are seeing now, there is an entire cottage industry built around this type of boorish behavior.
How many people do you think--having missed the original airing--will make sure to tune in for the multitude of replays of the show on that network? And that viewing drives ratings--which sells advertising--which makes money. And how many people who missed the original airing--or who just want to "double check" what they did see the first time--went to Youtube to view the "performance" again? That drives up page views--which sells advertising--which makes money. And how many closet pedophiles heard about or saw the peformance and downloaded a song or an album or a video or bought a concert ticket of that "entertainer" hoping for a similar cheap thrill? That puts money in the pockets of the entertainer, the agent, and the record label. And how many people will want to know the next move from that entertainer--and will log on to sites like TMZ or Perez Hilton or Entertainment Tonight or will tune into Good Morning America? You can hear the cash registers ringing left and right.
While it might make you feel better to call a talk show and vent your frustration and concern about "kids and society today", you are just playing into the hands of these people. You know what would have been an even more powerful response to this "performance"? Silence. What if the entire arena had just done nothing when that act ended? No cheers, no boos--just deafening quiet. Do you think the "entertainer" would have received a very clear message? And I can guarantee the calls between agents and promoters would have been in full-blown panic mode if the Monday morning shows spent their entire time talking about Syria gassing its own people and radiation-contaminated water leaking from the Fukushima power plant into the Pacific Ocean--all the while album sales remained stagnant.
Just remember the next time an "entertainer" goes "way over the line": a provocateur who doesn't provoke anyone just looks like a fool.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Baby, You Can Drive My Car......
While I was off last week, National Public Radio aired a story on the "end of America's love affair with the car". The story focused on the reduce amount of driving most Americans do today--and the growing trend of teens and young adults not buying cars--or even getting drivers licenses. To me, it was just another sign that we, as a country, continue to give up our personal freedoms, one at a time.
Some of the decline of the American car culture falls upon the government. Required safety features and fuel economy standards have robbed modern vehicles of the "fun" elements of the past. Gone are the muscle cars, bench front seats, chrome, glass packs, dual carbs and modified engines. My wife recently bought a 2011 Chevy Equinox. Every time I'm out driving in my unmistakable Jeep Wrangler, I see 15 other makes and models that look almost exactly like her vehicle.
"Cash For Clunkers" has also put the squeeze on first-time vehicle buyers as well. Tens of thousands of cars that were perfectly functional had to be scrapped--by law--instead of making their way to the used lots as "value" vehicles. (All of course to preserve lucrative UAW pension and medical plans for retirees.) Now, those that can't afford to spend five-figures on a used car find themselves locked out of the market--when there should have been plenty of supply available.
And let's not forget, kids have it drummed into their heads from day one at school that their very existence--and all of their actions--are detrimental to the "health of the planet". If you heard every day that driving a car will destroy the environment, would you be excited to get behind the wheel? Your being a "responsible global citizen" by just Skyping, or texting or Facetiming or SnapChatting with your friends on your smartphone and tablet than you are driving across town to actually see them face to face.
When I was in high school I had a chance to travel to Europe and to talk with kids about my own age over there. To a person, they were amazed that we as 16 or 17 year olds were not only allowed to drive--but that we owned our own cars. For them, going anywhere required walking or biking in the rain, standing around waiting for a bus or a subway, or plotting out train and bus schedules to other towns. It was one of the things that I learned about why the US was the greatest place to live (that and the outrageous sales taxes charged in those countries to fund their universal healthcare.)
To give up on the American Car Culture is to give up more of our personal freedoms. Last week, my wife and I decided to drive to the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in Munising, Michigan. Without a car, how could we have done that? High speed rail isn't going to the UP anytime soon. Going on a bus would have taken a couple of days--with several transfers--and once we got to Munising, how would we have reached the National Park?
Not all people are decrying this decline in driving (many of them likely NPR listeners). They prefer the collectivism of Public Transit and the dependence on Government to get where you need to go--when and how the Government decides to get you there. But for a dwindling few of us, the call of the open road will always be answered with the top down and the music blasting.
Some of the decline of the American car culture falls upon the government. Required safety features and fuel economy standards have robbed modern vehicles of the "fun" elements of the past. Gone are the muscle cars, bench front seats, chrome, glass packs, dual carbs and modified engines. My wife recently bought a 2011 Chevy Equinox. Every time I'm out driving in my unmistakable Jeep Wrangler, I see 15 other makes and models that look almost exactly like her vehicle.
"Cash For Clunkers" has also put the squeeze on first-time vehicle buyers as well. Tens of thousands of cars that were perfectly functional had to be scrapped--by law--instead of making their way to the used lots as "value" vehicles. (All of course to preserve lucrative UAW pension and medical plans for retirees.) Now, those that can't afford to spend five-figures on a used car find themselves locked out of the market--when there should have been plenty of supply available.
And let's not forget, kids have it drummed into their heads from day one at school that their very existence--and all of their actions--are detrimental to the "health of the planet". If you heard every day that driving a car will destroy the environment, would you be excited to get behind the wheel? Your being a "responsible global citizen" by just Skyping, or texting or Facetiming or SnapChatting with your friends on your smartphone and tablet than you are driving across town to actually see them face to face.
When I was in high school I had a chance to travel to Europe and to talk with kids about my own age over there. To a person, they were amazed that we as 16 or 17 year olds were not only allowed to drive--but that we owned our own cars. For them, going anywhere required walking or biking in the rain, standing around waiting for a bus or a subway, or plotting out train and bus schedules to other towns. It was one of the things that I learned about why the US was the greatest place to live (that and the outrageous sales taxes charged in those countries to fund their universal healthcare.)
To give up on the American Car Culture is to give up more of our personal freedoms. Last week, my wife and I decided to drive to the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in Munising, Michigan. Without a car, how could we have done that? High speed rail isn't going to the UP anytime soon. Going on a bus would have taken a couple of days--with several transfers--and once we got to Munising, how would we have reached the National Park?
Not all people are decrying this decline in driving (many of them likely NPR listeners). They prefer the collectivism of Public Transit and the dependence on Government to get where you need to go--when and how the Government decides to get you there. But for a dwindling few of us, the call of the open road will always be answered with the top down and the music blasting.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
It's All About the Kids
Those who push for the unlimited funding of public schools always like to drag out the tired old mantra "It's all about the kids" when calling for continued tax increases. But a couple of recent stories warrant monitoring to see just how committed liberals are to that "idea".
The first story we told you about last week here on WOSH--that without major changes to the "Premium Level" heath care plans provided to employees, the Oshkosh School District will face penalties approaching TWO MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR under the Affordable Care Act by the end of the decade. It will be interesting to see if the teachers agree to higher deductibles and co-pays (like those of us out here in the private sector have had for years now) or if they demand that all of that tax revenue earmarked for education instead go to the Federal Government (where it will fund vouchers for Nancy Pelosi's constituents who had jobs with health insurance--but quit to become artists or musicians--and to the illegal immigrants that President Obama now expects to not apply for Government Assistance based on the "honor system" once they are granted amnesty).
As a side note, isn't it sweet when liberals are hoist with their own petards like this? I'm sure that more than a few WEAC members were out there "fighting" for ObamaCare the last five years, spouting the party line of "you will get to keep your health insurance plan! You will get to keep you doctor!" Now it turns out that their beloved President Obama has sold them up the river--and they will not get to keep their insurance plan. And they will not get to keep their doctor. (Of course, what does the President care, he's not running for office ever again.)
The second issue likely to make the education lobby's heads explode is the Mukwonago School Board's decision not to change its "Indians" mascot, despite an order by the state Department of Public Instruction. Under the law giving the DPI the power to strong-arm districts into changing any mascot or name that one person finds offensive, the penalty for failure to comply is a $1000 a day fine. I'm sure that when Democrats crafted this legislation behind closed doors in their caucus, they never expected a district would fail to kowtow to the DPI and actually risk being fined.
Now State Superintendent Tony Evers has to decide what price he is going to put on political correctness. The same man who called a quarter billion dollar increase in public education funding a "cut", could take away up to $365-thousand a year away from a district to "teach it a lesson"--which will likely result in the loss of a couple of teaching jobs every year.
Given liberals penchant for just choosing not to enforce laws and rules that might hurt their constituency (e.g.: immigration laws, the employer mandate to provide health insurance and now, federal drug trafficking laws) I'm guessing Mr Evers will just choose to let the whole thing slide and hope that other districts--like Berlin and Shiocton--don't get the same idea. Remember, education is all about the kids.
The first story we told you about last week here on WOSH--that without major changes to the "Premium Level" heath care plans provided to employees, the Oshkosh School District will face penalties approaching TWO MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR under the Affordable Care Act by the end of the decade. It will be interesting to see if the teachers agree to higher deductibles and co-pays (like those of us out here in the private sector have had for years now) or if they demand that all of that tax revenue earmarked for education instead go to the Federal Government (where it will fund vouchers for Nancy Pelosi's constituents who had jobs with health insurance--but quit to become artists or musicians--and to the illegal immigrants that President Obama now expects to not apply for Government Assistance based on the "honor system" once they are granted amnesty).
As a side note, isn't it sweet when liberals are hoist with their own petards like this? I'm sure that more than a few WEAC members were out there "fighting" for ObamaCare the last five years, spouting the party line of "you will get to keep your health insurance plan! You will get to keep you doctor!" Now it turns out that their beloved President Obama has sold them up the river--and they will not get to keep their insurance plan. And they will not get to keep their doctor. (Of course, what does the President care, he's not running for office ever again.)
The second issue likely to make the education lobby's heads explode is the Mukwonago School Board's decision not to change its "Indians" mascot, despite an order by the state Department of Public Instruction. Under the law giving the DPI the power to strong-arm districts into changing any mascot or name that one person finds offensive, the penalty for failure to comply is a $1000 a day fine. I'm sure that when Democrats crafted this legislation behind closed doors in their caucus, they never expected a district would fail to kowtow to the DPI and actually risk being fined.
Now State Superintendent Tony Evers has to decide what price he is going to put on political correctness. The same man who called a quarter billion dollar increase in public education funding a "cut", could take away up to $365-thousand a year away from a district to "teach it a lesson"--which will likely result in the loss of a couple of teaching jobs every year.
Given liberals penchant for just choosing not to enforce laws and rules that might hurt their constituency (e.g.: immigration laws, the employer mandate to provide health insurance and now, federal drug trafficking laws) I'm guessing Mr Evers will just choose to let the whole thing slide and hope that other districts--like Berlin and Shiocton--don't get the same idea. Remember, education is all about the kids.
Monday, August 19, 2013
What Ryan Braun Should Say
Suspended Brewers star Ryan Braun is apparently ready to issue an apology for using performance enhancing drugs and his subsequent suspension. It would seem to me that an apology could have been made the day after Braun agreed to a 65-game suspension from Major League Baseball last month--but apologies today need to be perfectly crafted by public relations specialists and reviewed by attorneys before they can be publicly aired. Anyway, here is what Ryan Braun's apology should say:
I'm Ryan Braun, and I am a cheater and a liar.
I cheated baseball, its fans and my teammates by taking performance enhancing drugs all the way back when I was a student-athlete at the University of Miami. I cheated by taking a shortcut, rather than putting in the hard work that many others did--some of whom never made it as far as I have in the game.
I lied to the fans, my teammates and my friends about my use of performance enhancing drugs in order to protect my reputation and my marketability as a high-profile athlete. I even made up lies about those who eventually exposed my cheating in an attempt to discredit them.
I first want to apologize to the fans of the Milwaukee Brewers and to fans of baseball everywhere for the fraud that I perpetrated on them. You came to treat me as a superstar and your children looked up to me as a hero--and now I must tell you that I did not earn or deserve all of that adulation and respect. I'm sorry that parents have had to have a very difficult discussion with their kids about my cheating and why I cannot play in games that they are attending or watching on TV this season.
I also want to apologize to Dino Laurenzi, Junior for the lies I told about his involvement in my failed drug test during the 2011 playoffs. Mr Laurenzi did nothing to cause me to fail that test--as I was using performing enhancing drugs at the time--and the positive was not due to the handling, tainting or storage of my sample--as I alleged Mr Laurenzi may have done in statements to the public and to the MLB appeals committee. I further apologize for telling my fellow players that Mr Laurenzi spiked my sample because he is an anti-Semite and a Cubs fan. I pulled the oldest trick in the Liberal playbook by trying to discredit those who caught me engaged in wrongdoing by throwing out accusations of anti-Semitism, racism, sexism or homophobia.
I am also apologizing to my teammates for causing them to lie on my behalf--because of the lies I told them--and for costing them my services for the remainder of this season. I want to apologize to all of the other players in Major Baseball as well--since my performance on the field was tainted by the use of PED's--and it may have cost them honestly-won victories, playoff titles or post-season awards.
I am using the time afforded to me by my deserved suspension to consider my place in the game. Because of my cheating, I have enjoyed ill-gotten gains--including a sizeable guaranteed contract from the Brewers. Because that contract is based on a fallacy of a career to this point, I am asking that the deal be renegotiated so that I make only the league minimum for a player with my tenure for the next two seasons. If the Players Union blocks my attempt to renegotiate what is a fair deal for the Brewers, then I will donate the difference between what I am being forced to make and what I would be making with a minimum salary to Milwaukee area charities, public schools and police programs. In addition, I will share my story (free of charge) with any public service campaign or group aiming to keep young athletes off steroids and hormones. And in every appearance I will use the word "Cheater" to describe what I am.
From this day forward, I promise to stay clean and to earn whatever rewards or accolades come my way with hard work--and not the shortcuts that I have chosen to this point in my career.
I think you would agree, that apology might go a long way toward winning back the fans.
I'm Ryan Braun, and I am a cheater and a liar.
I cheated baseball, its fans and my teammates by taking performance enhancing drugs all the way back when I was a student-athlete at the University of Miami. I cheated by taking a shortcut, rather than putting in the hard work that many others did--some of whom never made it as far as I have in the game.
I lied to the fans, my teammates and my friends about my use of performance enhancing drugs in order to protect my reputation and my marketability as a high-profile athlete. I even made up lies about those who eventually exposed my cheating in an attempt to discredit them.
I first want to apologize to the fans of the Milwaukee Brewers and to fans of baseball everywhere for the fraud that I perpetrated on them. You came to treat me as a superstar and your children looked up to me as a hero--and now I must tell you that I did not earn or deserve all of that adulation and respect. I'm sorry that parents have had to have a very difficult discussion with their kids about my cheating and why I cannot play in games that they are attending or watching on TV this season.
I also want to apologize to Dino Laurenzi, Junior for the lies I told about his involvement in my failed drug test during the 2011 playoffs. Mr Laurenzi did nothing to cause me to fail that test--as I was using performing enhancing drugs at the time--and the positive was not due to the handling, tainting or storage of my sample--as I alleged Mr Laurenzi may have done in statements to the public and to the MLB appeals committee. I further apologize for telling my fellow players that Mr Laurenzi spiked my sample because he is an anti-Semite and a Cubs fan. I pulled the oldest trick in the Liberal playbook by trying to discredit those who caught me engaged in wrongdoing by throwing out accusations of anti-Semitism, racism, sexism or homophobia.
I am also apologizing to my teammates for causing them to lie on my behalf--because of the lies I told them--and for costing them my services for the remainder of this season. I want to apologize to all of the other players in Major Baseball as well--since my performance on the field was tainted by the use of PED's--and it may have cost them honestly-won victories, playoff titles or post-season awards.
I am using the time afforded to me by my deserved suspension to consider my place in the game. Because of my cheating, I have enjoyed ill-gotten gains--including a sizeable guaranteed contract from the Brewers. Because that contract is based on a fallacy of a career to this point, I am asking that the deal be renegotiated so that I make only the league minimum for a player with my tenure for the next two seasons. If the Players Union blocks my attempt to renegotiate what is a fair deal for the Brewers, then I will donate the difference between what I am being forced to make and what I would be making with a minimum salary to Milwaukee area charities, public schools and police programs. In addition, I will share my story (free of charge) with any public service campaign or group aiming to keep young athletes off steroids and hormones. And in every appearance I will use the word "Cheater" to describe what I am.
From this day forward, I promise to stay clean and to earn whatever rewards or accolades come my way with hard work--and not the shortcuts that I have chosen to this point in my career.
I think you would agree, that apology might go a long way toward winning back the fans.
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