Monday, August 13, 2018

Let's Do The Time Warp Again!

If you had awakened from a coma on Sunday afternoon and CBS's coverage of the PGA Championship golf tournament was on the TV in your hospital room, you may have had a very hard time figuring out what decade it is. 

For starters, you had Tiger Woods near the top of the leaderboard, making birdies, pumping his fist and getting the crowds fired up like it was the early 2000's.  The announcers only wanted to talk about Tiger, to show all of his shots, and replays of all of his shots from every camera angle, and then show his reaction to all of his shots followed by the crowd's reaction to all of his shots.  Everyone else in the tournament was secondary to the storyline--and their position on the scoreboard was always referred to in relation to Tiger's score.

But when CBS went to commercial, you saw continuous promos for Murphy Brown--which would make you think that it is the 1990's--as that is when that show was on TV.  Yes it was a minor hit--especially when it drew the ire of Vice President Dan Quayle, who didn't think the title character should be an unwed mother--and the show went out of its way to mock Quayle and the Bush administration.  But why would there be commercials for that show on in the 2000's?  And when did Candace Bergen get so heavy?

And then to add further confusion, the next commercial break featured promos for Magnum P I--a crime drama from the 1980's.  There was the red Ferrari 308 GTS, there was the brown, orange and yellow Island Hopper helicopter.  But why is Higgins a woman?  And were is Magnum's mustache?  It's a good thing that CBS wasn't running promos for Hawaii Five-O or that would have led our poor coma patient to think it might be the 1970's yet--just without Jack Lord's awesome pile of hair. 

Fortunately, the eventual winner of the PGA brought us back to modern day life.  Brooks Koepka is a quintessential millennial.  He thinks golf is boring and doesn't watch it if he's not playing in that tournament.  Koepka would rather just work out.  He endorses Michelob Ultra beer--a low calorie, low carb beverage that barely qualifies as a beer.  HIs girlfriend is a social media star/actress/model.  And you could tell that it bothered him that the bigger roars were for that "old fart" Tiger Woods all day--while he was the guy that actually won the tournament--and he made it known in the post-round press conference that he still doesn't feel like he gets the adulation that he deserves as a three-time major champion.

As for our former coma patient, you can assure them that this really is 2018 and that Tiger Woods may actually be healthy enough to compete on a regular basis again--and that CBS (like the rest of Hollywood) has completely run out of ideas for new programming and has decided to just "re-boot" every popular show from decades gone by--since their audience is aging baby boomers who don't want to watch anything new anyways.  You may want to hold off on telling them The Apprentice guy is now the President, though.

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