Friday, September 6, 2013

No Need To Even Play The Season

While we certainly don't encourage gambling (wink, wink) here are your "Stone Cold Locks Of The Century" Packers picks:

Week 1 at San Francisco--There was a lot of speculation when the Packers brought Vince Young into training camp that he was going to "help" the team prepare for read option quarterbacks like the 49'ers Colin Kaepernick.  The only problem is that Kaepernick can actually throw the ball downfield to his receivers--and San Fran matches their 45-31 beatdown of the Pack in last year's playoff game.

Week 2 vs Washington--Another read-option QB in Robert Griffin III--but he's no Colin Kaepernick either (and the Washington defense is as good either).  Packers win 31-17.

Week 3 at Cincinnati--The Bengals are a chic Super Bowl pick, so they will tank this season.  Green Bay wins 24-13.

Week 4 Bye Week--Nothing like getting your bye as early as allowed by league rules.  Hopefully, everybody doesn't decide to hit the golf course that Sunday--I like having the place to myself on Sunday afternoons.

Week 5 vs Detroit--The Packers own the Lions at Lambeau.  Green Bay wins 27-10.

Week 6 at Baltimore--Based on last night's beatdown in Denver, the defending Super Bowl Champs are shells of their former selves.  Packers roll 30-20.

Week 7 vs Cleveland--The Browns are awful.  Packers win 35-20.

Week 8 at Minnesota--The big question here is: will Adrian Peterson be playing at this point in the season?  I'm going on the assumption that he will be and that the Vikes run over the Pack 23-21.

Week 9 vs Chicago--Jay Cutler is still the Bears QB.  Packers in a laugher 38-7.

Week 10--vs Philadelphia--ESPN calls the Eagles "a threat in the NFC".  They will probably be 3-6 by this point and Chip Kelly's hurry up throw on every down offense will have put five quarterbacks on the injured reserve.  Packers roll again 45-30.

Week 11 at New York Giants--Green Bay always struggles in the Meadowlands, but this is the time of year the Giants at in their swoon and the press is calling for the firing of Tom Coughlin.  The Pack squeaks it out 24-21.

Week 12 vs Minnesota--AP has another big day, but this time the Packers capture the 23-21 win.

Week 13 at Detroit--This is where I tell the story of the Thanksgiving when Walter Stanley ran a punt back for a game-winning touchdown and my mother was on the floor pounding her hands yelling at him to "GO!!!! GO!!!!! GO!!!!!!".  Ah, memories.  Detroit wins this one 30-27--so Mom won't be pounding on my living room floor before dinner.

Week 14 vs Atlanta--Green Bay is in Matt Ryan's head.  Packers win 34-27.

Week 15 at Dallas--You really expect me to pick against Dallas?  HOW "BOUT THEM COWBOYS?!?!?! 31-24.

Week 16 vs Pittsburgh--You really expect me to pick against the Steelers? 77-0 Pittsburgh.

Week 17 at Chicago--Jay Cutler suffers a hangnail in the 1st Quarter and sits out the rest of the game.  Packers end the regular season with a 30-14 win.

Wild Card Weekend--After an 11-5 regular season, the Packers are the number 3 seed in the NFC and open the playoff at home against the Wild Card New Orleans Saints.  Aaron Rodgers outguns Drew Brees 48-38 at Lambeau.

Divisional Playoff Weekend--The Packers go to Atlanta and school the Falcons again, 35-20.

NFC Championship Game--In a rematch of last year's playoff beat'em down at Candlestick Park, Colin Kaepernick embarasses the Packers linebacking crew again--and San Francisco heads back to the Super Bowl with a 45-30 win.

My Super Bowl pick: The 49ers complete their comeback from last year's disappointment with a 31-28 win over Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos.

Bet the morgage payments.

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