Thursday, January 8, 2015

Give Them Equal Treatment

The outpouring of support for those killed and injured in yesterday's attack by practicers of the "Religion of Peace" in Paris yesterday is certainly comforting--but you know what would impress me more?  If we started treating Muslims the same way we treat Evangelical Christians and Catholics.  That would send a message.

In condemning such attacks, President Obama should tell Muslims to stop "clinging to their God and their guns".  In her campaign speeches, Hillary Clinton should say that the beliefs of Islam are "on the wrong side of history".  Same-sex couples should hold "kiss-ins" at mosques.  There should be calls to boycott Muslim-run businesses that don't provide 31-types of free birth control to their female employees.  Bare breasted women should march on Mecca demanding equal treatment under Sharia law.  The Mayor of Houston can demand that Imams turn over copies of their sermons to make sure they aren't "spreading hate".

Rachel Maddow could devote an hour of her show to parsing verses from the Koran and lecturing Muslims on how they "don't even understand their own religion".  Neil Tyson Degrasse can tweet facts about food, nutrition and digestion during the fasting month of Ramadan. can publish 10,000-word articles on how Islam is the greatest threat to the progress of humanity on the planet. 

Stephen Colbert can adopt an alter ego as a Militant Islamist talk show host and launch the "Daily Prayers Show".  Sitcoms can include devout Muslim characters who are portrayed as uneducated, bigoted and the butt of every joke.  Celebrities like Selena Gomez could take more pictures of their bared ankles in mosques and then NOT apologize to "anyone they may have offended".  Madonna could make a music video where she appears to have sex with Muhammed.  Trey Parker and Matt Stone should be allowed to put Muhammed back into the South Park episodes "Super Best Friends", "200" and "201".  What's more, they can write a Broadway musical entitled The Book of Koran that tells the story of a young Al Qaeda suicide bomber who dreams of blowing up Disney World--but instead is sent to attack a US embassy in some wretched East African country.  (The 72-Virgins dance number at the end of Act 2 is a showstopper!)

Of course, none of this is ever going to happen (except maybe for the South Park ideas) because that would be "culturally insensitive", "insulting" and "racist".  That and those mentioned above probably don't want to get gunned down in cold blood in their offices either.

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