Fake Motivation

If you watch the Wisconsin-Minnesota football game on Saturday afternoon (as Wisconsin looks to stretch its winning streak against the Golden Gophers to 14 CONSECUTIVE GAMES) you may notice an unusual phrase printed inside the center stripe on the Gophers' helmets.  That phrase is "ROW THE BOAT".  That might not make a lot of sense.  Gophers don't row boats.  Boating has very little to do with playing football.  And most people that use the Boundary Waters area in northern Minnesota paddle their canoes--they don't row.  But that is the "motivational phrase" that Minnesota Head Coach PJ Fleck believes can raise his players' effort to a higher level.

Personally, I think it's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.  Fleck developed ROW THE BOAT during his previous job at Western Michigan.  You may recall hearing about it endlessly during last January's Cotton Bowl broadcast as Wisconsin manhandled the previously undefeated Broncos back on January 2nd.  As with Fleck's Broncos, Gopher players now run out of the tunnel pre-game holding an oar to signify their plan to ROW THE BOAT all day against their opponents.

Now I thought ROW THE BOAT was a metaphor for the entire team working together trying to head toward a common goal.  You know, if everyone doesn't row together, the boat just goes in circles.  But according to Fleck the oar represents "the energy your bring to life", the boat is "the sacrifice you are willing to make" and a compass (which I didn't realize was part of this equation) doesn't represent the direction you want to go--but rather "the people with whom you surround yourself".

Now does that psycho-drivel get you motivated to work harder toward your goals?  Would it convince you to get into the weight room at 5:00 in the morning to work out?  Or to put in a few extra minutes of film study on your opponent?  Does seeing ROW THE BOAT on the other team's helmets intimidate opponents?  "Wow man, those guys are bringing energy to the sacrifice they are willing to make while surrounded by good people!"  Given that the Golden Gophers have been boat-raced by their last three Big Ten opponents, social media pundits have taken to renaming the phrase WOE THE BOAT.

Obviously, some college kids buy into the ROW THE BOAT mantra--and the myriad of other meaningless phrases that coaches like PJ Fleck throw at them.  But what is the catchphrase of the most successful college football team over the past decade, Alabama?  Why doesn't Ohio State have a motivational phrase on their helmets?  And what incredible spiritual saying does the "boring" Paul Chryst provide to his offensive linemen before they bulldoze their opponents?  Let's face it, some coaches can coach--and some can only "motivate".

Oh, and Minnesota can plan on taking their oar back to it's hallowed location in the locker room--because the Badgers will be taking Paul Bunyan's Axe back to its nearly-permanent location in the Camp Randall trophy case for an unprecedented 14TH CONSECUTIVE TIME!!!