Why Do They Have to Ruin Everything?

One of the greatest appeals of the movie A Christmas Story is that it perfectly captures the childhood experiences of so many people.  Who didn't have a toy that they thought would completely change their lives once they got it?  What boy didn't fudge things up when they tried to help their Dad the first time--or get punished for dropping their first dirty word in front of their parents?  Who didn't have to deal with bullies, have to get overly-bundled-up by an over-protective mother, send away for some food-product toy that turned out to be a piece of junk or get one of their friends in trouble on a dare--and refuse to admit who put him up to it?

Jean Shepard's original story harkens back to a much simpler time when Christmas was a big deal--but not an all-consuming three-month marathon of avarice and commercialism.  It's a snapshot of an America that we likely will never get back.

But in the hundreds of times that I've watched the movie I have never once thought "You know what would make this a lot better?  A bunch of singing and dancing!"  And yet, when FOX Television decided to put on a live version of A Christmas Story last night, they did add singing--and dancing.  Fortunately, I knew this was a musical--so I did not watch a single second of that atrocity--and I will never go to see the traveling stage production either.

I don't understand the thought process in a producer's mind that says "I think we need to stop the action here and sing an original song with people coming out of nowhere to dance behind Ralphie to bring the storyline to a screeching halt".  When you were a kid, did you sing songs (with orchestral backing) about your favorite toy?  Did your classmates join in?  Did you ever see your Dad sing a showtune, ever?

Because I'm a history buff, people assume that I would like to see Hamilton--the Broadway musical featuring the Founding Fathers.  And they are surprised when I tell them that I would never pay a lot of good money to see a horribly-inaccurate portrayal of American history that attempts to revise the the architects of our democracy into something they never were and never believed.  If I wanted that, I'd watch Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer.  I'd much rather see actors come on stage and read the Federalist Papers word-for-word so everyone leaves the theater much more informed on what it means to be American.

If you would like to enjoy the "unspoiled" version of A Christmas Story, tune into WOSH starting at 6:00 Sunday night for our annual 24-hours of A Christmas Story marathon.  I promise, no singing--and no dancing.