Dave Ramsey (heard 2-5 weekdays here on News-Talk 1490 WOSH) has a saying about dealing with credit card companies "If you play with snakes long enough, eventually you are going to get bit." That refers to the practices of huge late payment fees, jacked up interest rates and collection practices that border on bullying. But after watching the 60 Minutes report last night on the three credit reporting bureaus, the little "snakes" you deal with at CitiBank and Capital One are apparently nothing compared to the "anacondas" that are apparently running TransUnion, Equifax and Experian.
According to the report, 20% of all credit reports have major errors on them. As Steve Kroft put it "a 20% error rate wouldn't be tolerated in many other businesses would it?" And of those errors, half of them are preventing otherwise creditworthy people from getting loans. To top it off, the bureaus--while they give you avenues to challenge errors--actually make NO EFFORT to remove incorrect information. My favorite part of the report last night was Kroft sitting in a bar with the three "twenty-somethings" in Santiago, Chile who were the "executives" in charge of correcting information for Experian. They admitted they weren't even allowed to call creditors to check on the information provided. Their job was to merely read the complaints and put them into a numerical code that would be entered into a computer somewhere else.
As we watched the report, I told my wife "As soon as this is done, I'm getting all three of our credit reports". But then, Kroft told us about a woman who was provided with "clean" reports, but was still being turned down for loans. It turns out, the bureaus provide completely different reports to lenders than they do to consumers. Furthermore, the lenders are not allowed to show the consumers those alternative reports (this woman snuck a peak when a banker left her alone in his office for a few minutes and found bad debts belonging to another woman had been put on her credit history). So basically, the credit bureaus have circumvented the law requiring them to provide us with free reports every year--by creating these "alternative" reports that we are not allowed to see--but are the actual basis for our credit-worthiness in the eyes of lenders.
Now as someone who never plans to borrow money again, you would think that such a finding wouldn't get me that worked up. But, there is an unfortunate trend in the business world that credit reports--and credit scores--are being used by insurers, employers and utilities to determine rates, hireability and service connection. Why should the fact that I don't borrow money mean that I should pay more for car insurance? Wouldn't an employer want a worker that isn't up to their eyeballs in debt to be in charge of handling money for them? And wouldn't having a positive net worth make me more likely to pay my cell phone bill every month than someone swimming in red ink?
And since the bureaus aren't providing us with the "real" credit reports every year anyway, how can we really be sure that someone hasn't hijacked our identities--or that bad debts in other people's names are being put on our record? Unfortunately, the only way to find out is to try and go into debt and see if you get rejected.
Hopefully, those non-credit businesses I mentioned before will consider the facts presented in the 60 Minutes report and drop the practice of doing credit checks for non-debt related items. And hopefully those choosing to play the "credit game" realize that they will have no teammates with them on the field.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
I Don't Get It
In between reffing a high school game and playing in my own rec league basketball game last night, I was able to catch the Wisconsin Public Television documentary on Lake Winnebago sturgeon spearing, "Under the Ice". The video was shot during the 2010 opening day on the ice. You had DNR Sturgeon "Guru" Ron Bruch, several local folks in their shanties and even a few lakeside business owners all discussing the phenomenon that is February on the lake. It wasn't as good as the Wisconsin Supper Clubs documentary the WPT had a couple of years later--but it was fairly informative and didn't belittle the subjects in any way.
That being said, during the entire thing all I could think was "Holy cow, that looks INCREDIBLY boring". Staring at a four foot by six foot hole in the ice for six hours a day? I wouldn't last one hour on one day--much less an entire 16-day season. And I consider myself a pretty patient person--having sat through 7-hour city council, school board and county board meetings where they end up deciding to return the only interesting resolution back to committee for "further discussion". And since an elusive sturgeon might spend only a few fleeting seconds in your hole, it's not like you can turn your attention away from the water--or risk losing your one chance. Ron Bruch said the success rate averages about 13%--meaning you can expect to spear a sturgeon once every SEVEN YEARS.
Now it may have been just the couple of shanties that the camera crews visited that day, but it seemed to me like the hole was a secondary--and in some cases even a tertiary concern for those out on the ice. There were a number of shots that involved beer drinking--and there were a few liquor bottles in the background as well. And I was surprised that they talked with so many female spearers as well. You would think that being cooped up in a dark little shanty for hours on end trying to see an ugly fish wouldn't appeal that much to the ladies.
About the only "cringe-worthy" moment in the entire show was when they were talking with the folks driving out on the ice in full-size trucks--talking about how you "get to know" where the good ice and the bad ice is. I almost had to turn away when they showed one couple driving over the fishing club bridges and there was open water underneath.
So best of luck to everyone hitting the ice tomorrow morning--and be safe. I'd rather talk about how strange I find your love of staring at frozen water than telling our listeners about how you had to be fished out of that water.
That being said, during the entire thing all I could think was "Holy cow, that looks INCREDIBLY boring". Staring at a four foot by six foot hole in the ice for six hours a day? I wouldn't last one hour on one day--much less an entire 16-day season. And I consider myself a pretty patient person--having sat through 7-hour city council, school board and county board meetings where they end up deciding to return the only interesting resolution back to committee for "further discussion". And since an elusive sturgeon might spend only a few fleeting seconds in your hole, it's not like you can turn your attention away from the water--or risk losing your one chance. Ron Bruch said the success rate averages about 13%--meaning you can expect to spear a sturgeon once every SEVEN YEARS.
Now it may have been just the couple of shanties that the camera crews visited that day, but it seemed to me like the hole was a secondary--and in some cases even a tertiary concern for those out on the ice. There were a number of shots that involved beer drinking--and there were a few liquor bottles in the background as well. And I was surprised that they talked with so many female spearers as well. You would think that being cooped up in a dark little shanty for hours on end trying to see an ugly fish wouldn't appeal that much to the ladies.
About the only "cringe-worthy" moment in the entire show was when they were talking with the folks driving out on the ice in full-size trucks--talking about how you "get to know" where the good ice and the bad ice is. I almost had to turn away when they showed one couple driving over the fishing club bridges and there was open water underneath.
So best of luck to everyone hitting the ice tomorrow morning--and be safe. I'd rather talk about how strange I find your love of staring at frozen water than telling our listeners about how you had to be fished out of that water.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
How This Will End
Wednesday's announcement that the US Postal Service will discontinue Saturday delivery in August is just another step for a lumbering dinosaur into the tar pits of oblivion. It is inevitable that the USPS will collapse under the weight of its pension obligations, infrastructure costs and general lack of interest in its service--forcing it cut delivery days to perhaps only four days or an every-other-day schedule--before finally becoming what it should be: a subscription or an on-demand service only.
But unlike the real dinosaurs, the Postal Service is unionized--and that means it has allies in halls of power that will do everything they can to preserve the current, over-bloated business model--no matter the cost to taxpayers. However, they won't try to sell it to us a "pension, benefits and political spoils preservation effort"--they know that wouldn't fly with voters. Instead, they will use the same arguments that have been used to successfully expand other government programs in recent years.
"Doing away with the mail will cost tens of thousands of jobs". This is why we still have so many lighthouse-tenders, telegraph operators, blacksmiths, caboose attendants, lamplighters, trolleymen, and milkmen--because we just "couldn't afford to lose those jobs"--even if technology made them absolutely unneccesary. Of course, most of those jobs were private-sector--and we know businessmen don't know how to do anything right.
"Doing away with the mail will unfairly impact the poor and the elderly". Twenty percent of American households do not have internet access. And yes, those people would be impacted the most by a reduced postal service. But if you only need to serve one in five houses in every neighborhood only a couple of times a week, why would you keep in place the manpower and infrastructure to serve every house, every day?
"Doing away with the mail will deny people their right to information". This argument is also being used to justify public wi-fi access for inner cities and rural areas not currently served by broadband providers as well. The "Right to Access to Information" is clearly spelled out in the.......uh.........um........eleventy-fifth amendment--yeah, that's the ticket.
"Doing away with the mail will just drive up the cost of sending anything through the USPS competitors." I'd buy that argument, if USPS was actually competitive in price with its competition. Did you know, that when you send something overnight or priority through the mail, that it travels in the same airplanes that FedEx ships their customer's packages and envelopes? Any difference in price is then "eaten" by USPS and made up for in regular postage. Plus, if it cost more to send something through the competition don't you think we would get a lot less junk mail and political advertisements?
Should the previous arguments fail, the postal union sympathizers could also take the ObamaCare approach--and force those not using the service to still pick up the cost. How does an "Email Tax" sound? or perhaps a "PDF Attachment Surcharge"? Or a "Tablet Reader Magazine Subscription Fee"? It's the fault of those of us who have chosen the faster and more expedient technologies to handle much of the business that used to go through the mail--so its "only fair" that we subsidize those who don't.
We all know what fate awaits the Postal Service--it's just too bad there are some who want to make it as long and as expensive as possible to get there.
But unlike the real dinosaurs, the Postal Service is unionized--and that means it has allies in halls of power that will do everything they can to preserve the current, over-bloated business model--no matter the cost to taxpayers. However, they won't try to sell it to us a "pension, benefits and political spoils preservation effort"--they know that wouldn't fly with voters. Instead, they will use the same arguments that have been used to successfully expand other government programs in recent years.
"Doing away with the mail will cost tens of thousands of jobs". This is why we still have so many lighthouse-tenders, telegraph operators, blacksmiths, caboose attendants, lamplighters, trolleymen, and milkmen--because we just "couldn't afford to lose those jobs"--even if technology made them absolutely unneccesary. Of course, most of those jobs were private-sector--and we know businessmen don't know how to do anything right.
"Doing away with the mail will unfairly impact the poor and the elderly". Twenty percent of American households do not have internet access. And yes, those people would be impacted the most by a reduced postal service. But if you only need to serve one in five houses in every neighborhood only a couple of times a week, why would you keep in place the manpower and infrastructure to serve every house, every day?
"Doing away with the mail will deny people their right to information". This argument is also being used to justify public wi-fi access for inner cities and rural areas not currently served by broadband providers as well. The "Right to Access to Information" is clearly spelled out in the.......uh.........um........eleventy-fifth amendment--yeah, that's the ticket.
"Doing away with the mail will just drive up the cost of sending anything through the USPS competitors." I'd buy that argument, if USPS was actually competitive in price with its competition. Did you know, that when you send something overnight or priority through the mail, that it travels in the same airplanes that FedEx ships their customer's packages and envelopes? Any difference in price is then "eaten" by USPS and made up for in regular postage. Plus, if it cost more to send something through the competition don't you think we would get a lot less junk mail and political advertisements?
Should the previous arguments fail, the postal union sympathizers could also take the ObamaCare approach--and force those not using the service to still pick up the cost. How does an "Email Tax" sound? or perhaps a "PDF Attachment Surcharge"? Or a "Tablet Reader Magazine Subscription Fee"? It's the fault of those of us who have chosen the faster and more expedient technologies to handle much of the business that used to go through the mail--so its "only fair" that we subsidize those who don't.
We all know what fate awaits the Postal Service--it's just too bad there are some who want to make it as long and as expensive as possible to get there.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Let's Keep Things In Perspective
Accolades will pour in for Donald Driver today when he holds his retirement announcement at the Lambeau Field Atrium this morning. Double D certainly deserves much of that praise, as he was always accommodating to fans, was involved in the community and never got into any kind of off the field trouble. He raised a lot of money for charity after picking up the Brett Favre softball game in Appleton. His wife was also committed to literacy programs in the Green Bay area as well.
But can we please refrain from calling Driver the "Greatest Packers Receiver Ever"? I know modern fans don't think anything happened before they were born, but Donald Driver is not even close to being the best pass catcher in franchise history. That title continues to be held by Don Hutson.
Hutson is widely considered the first "moden" wide receiver in NFL history. His main role wasn't to block on the end of the line for running plays--but rather to get downfield for long passes and big plays. He was big for time and fast as well. Defenses were completely unprepared to handle him--as most cornerbacks and safeties were smaller, slower and trained to tackle ball carriers more than defend deep pass routes. His first ever play in the NFL was an 83-yard touchdown reception.
Hutson once scored 4 touchdowns IN A SINGLE QUARTER--still an NFL record (he also kicked all four extra points and one more as well for another single quarter record of 29-points). He was the first 1,000 yard receiver--in a ten game season. And most of his career and season receiving records lasted well into the 1980's and 90's--even after the game became more pass-happy and seasons expanded to 16-games. When Jerry Rice and Steve Largent and Art Monk were breaking all of those records--they were all Don Hutson records. And despite the offensive explosion in the game, Hutson still holds 13 NFL Records:
PS--James Lofton and Sterling Sharpe would also like to debate all-time Packer receiver rankings as well--and they have some pretty good arguments.
But can we please refrain from calling Driver the "Greatest Packers Receiver Ever"? I know modern fans don't think anything happened before they were born, but Donald Driver is not even close to being the best pass catcher in franchise history. That title continues to be held by Don Hutson.
Hutson is widely considered the first "moden" wide receiver in NFL history. His main role wasn't to block on the end of the line for running plays--but rather to get downfield for long passes and big plays. He was big for time and fast as well. Defenses were completely unprepared to handle him--as most cornerbacks and safeties were smaller, slower and trained to tackle ball carriers more than defend deep pass routes. His first ever play in the NFL was an 83-yard touchdown reception.
Hutson once scored 4 touchdowns IN A SINGLE QUARTER--still an NFL record (he also kicked all four extra points and one more as well for another single quarter record of 29-points). He was the first 1,000 yard receiver--in a ten game season. And most of his career and season receiving records lasted well into the 1980's and 90's--even after the game became more pass-happy and seasons expanded to 16-games. When Jerry Rice and Steve Largent and Art Monk were breaking all of those records--they were all Don Hutson records. And despite the offensive explosion in the game, Hutson still holds 13 NFL Records:
- Most seasons led league, scoring: 5
- Most consecutive seasons led league, scoring: 5
- Most points scored in a quarter: 29
- Most touchdowns scored in a quarter: 4
- Most touchdown receptions in a quarter: 4
- Most seasons led league, touchdowns: 8
- Most consecutive seasons led league, touchdowns: 4
- Most seasons led league, receiving touchdowns: 9
- Most consecutive seasons led league, receiving touchdowns: 5
- Most seasons led league, receptions: 8
- Most consecutive seasons led league, receptions: 5
- Most seasons led league, receiving yards: 7
- Most consecutive seasons led league, receiving yards: 4
PS--James Lofton and Sterling Sharpe would also like to debate all-time Packer receiver rankings as well--and they have some pretty good arguments.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
I Thought It Felt a Bit Chilly In Here
Now that the important stuff is done (the NFL Playoffs), let's turn our attention to Global Warming--oops, I mean Global Climate Change. You may have missed the story a few weeks ago that a leaked United Nations report shows that estimates of global warming were overstated for years. The report also admits that solar activity and sunspots are tied more directly to global temperature patterns than researchers initially wanted to admit.
Ok, this is more of a "Fox News" story, so it didn't get a lot of exposure in other media outlets--but it still deserves some serious discussion. Let's start with why the initial UN numbers and reports predicting certain doom were wrong. The scientific answer is that it is impossible to accurately predict weather and climate patterns when there are so many variables beyond human control. Those refuting the impact of the leaked report seem to blame Mount Pinatubo's eruption in 1991 for a "temporary cooling" of the planet by putting solar-ray-deflecting ash into the upper atmosphere. I get the feeling that the Icelandic volcano eruption (I'm not even going to try to spell the name of that one) that grounded flights all over Europe a few years ago will "mess up" future climatological projections as well. And then it will be another volcano and another volcano......
But even if those who prepared the initial UN climate projections could have factored in unpredictable volcanic, ocean current and solar activity, they were still going to paint a "worst possible case scenario"--because they know nobody is going to worry about a few one hundredths of a degree, or even a few tenths of a degree over decades. But tell them we are on the verge of "out of control global warming" and they might panic, well slightly.
While the UN alarmists may have been off on their projections, the fact is the earth has been getting warmer. In fact, that has been happening for about 12-thousand years now. As I often like to say to those preaching gloom and doom, the very spot where I am typing this was buried beneath a sheet of ice TWO MILES THICK at that time. So let's find out what early Homo Sapien man was doing to cause the "sudden" change in climate that started the "domino effect" and we can stop doing that as well. Or, we can continue to develop the technology and food crops to deal with slightly warmer temperatures over the next few centuries.
However, if you still believe that man should go back to the caves and forage for his meals in order to "protect the environment" I would recommend claiming some spots on the coasts of South Africa--since those glaciers are coming back--global warming reports or not.
Ok, this is more of a "Fox News" story, so it didn't get a lot of exposure in other media outlets--but it still deserves some serious discussion. Let's start with why the initial UN numbers and reports predicting certain doom were wrong. The scientific answer is that it is impossible to accurately predict weather and climate patterns when there are so many variables beyond human control. Those refuting the impact of the leaked report seem to blame Mount Pinatubo's eruption in 1991 for a "temporary cooling" of the planet by putting solar-ray-deflecting ash into the upper atmosphere. I get the feeling that the Icelandic volcano eruption (I'm not even going to try to spell the name of that one) that grounded flights all over Europe a few years ago will "mess up" future climatological projections as well. And then it will be another volcano and another volcano......
But even if those who prepared the initial UN climate projections could have factored in unpredictable volcanic, ocean current and solar activity, they were still going to paint a "worst possible case scenario"--because they know nobody is going to worry about a few one hundredths of a degree, or even a few tenths of a degree over decades. But tell them we are on the verge of "out of control global warming" and they might panic, well slightly.
While the UN alarmists may have been off on their projections, the fact is the earth has been getting warmer. In fact, that has been happening for about 12-thousand years now. As I often like to say to those preaching gloom and doom, the very spot where I am typing this was buried beneath a sheet of ice TWO MILES THICK at that time. So let's find out what early Homo Sapien man was doing to cause the "sudden" change in climate that started the "domino effect" and we can stop doing that as well. Or, we can continue to develop the technology and food crops to deal with slightly warmer temperatures over the next few centuries.
However, if you still believe that man should go back to the caves and forage for his meals in order to "protect the environment" I would recommend claiming some spots on the coasts of South Africa--since those glaciers are coming back--global warming reports or not.
Monday, February 4, 2013
I Bet You Didn't See That Coming
The ad agency that has been doing the Chrysler Corporation Super Bowl ads the last three years, Wieden + Kennedy, are deserving of more praise than I or anyone else can give them. They have been able to take an "art form" that has deteriorated into stupid animal tricks, fart jokes and locker room humor and managed to make Americans actually THINK about something serious--for at least a few minutes every year.
Three years ago it was the Eminem "Imported From Detroit" ad that tried to dispel the notion that the Motor City was dead and had been left to rot. Then it was the Clint Eastwood "Halftime In America" Jeep ad that took the same message to the rest of the country that feared that it too is dead and decaying. And then this year, the company gave us not one but TWO reasons to actually think about ourselves.
The first was the Jeep ad narrated by Oprah Winfrey welcoming troops home from overseas. The ad once again reinforces the special bond Jeep has had with the military for decades--and reminds us that there were a lot of people who made huge sacrifices so that we could sit on our couches and stuff our faces while watching a football game.
And it seemed like that was going to be it for "thinking persons" television for the night. And then Chrysler came back with the Paul Harvey "God Made a Farmer" Ram Truck ad. As the great-grandson of a farmer, the grandson of a farmer and a husband to a farmer's daughter, I was blown away by the powerful message. And as a radio broadcaster, it was nice to hear the dulcet tone of Paul Harvey's voice one more time. (In case you are wondering, Paul delivered that speech to the national FFA convention in Chicago back in 1978.)
The social media reaction was exactly what I expected. Mid-Westerners--who are still close to the farm and who interact with those men and women every day could not say enough about how proud it made them feel--and what a tribute it was to a "forgotten class" of people in America. Those from the East and West Coasts responded with snark--cracking jokes about odors, illegal immigrant workers and growing pot. To them, milk will always come from a carton, vegetables from a produce display and burgers from McDonalds.
And those farm fields with interesting designs will just be bastions of "God and Guns" in Red Flyover States--while those who do little more than talk for a living will go on believing that they are the ones who make America, "America". I'm glad I know that will never be the case.
Three years ago it was the Eminem "Imported From Detroit" ad that tried to dispel the notion that the Motor City was dead and had been left to rot. Then it was the Clint Eastwood "Halftime In America" Jeep ad that took the same message to the rest of the country that feared that it too is dead and decaying. And then this year, the company gave us not one but TWO reasons to actually think about ourselves.
The first was the Jeep ad narrated by Oprah Winfrey welcoming troops home from overseas. The ad once again reinforces the special bond Jeep has had with the military for decades--and reminds us that there were a lot of people who made huge sacrifices so that we could sit on our couches and stuff our faces while watching a football game.
And it seemed like that was going to be it for "thinking persons" television for the night. And then Chrysler came back with the Paul Harvey "God Made a Farmer" Ram Truck ad. As the great-grandson of a farmer, the grandson of a farmer and a husband to a farmer's daughter, I was blown away by the powerful message. And as a radio broadcaster, it was nice to hear the dulcet tone of Paul Harvey's voice one more time. (In case you are wondering, Paul delivered that speech to the national FFA convention in Chicago back in 1978.)
The social media reaction was exactly what I expected. Mid-Westerners--who are still close to the farm and who interact with those men and women every day could not say enough about how proud it made them feel--and what a tribute it was to a "forgotten class" of people in America. Those from the East and West Coasts responded with snark--cracking jokes about odors, illegal immigrant workers and growing pot. To them, milk will always come from a carton, vegetables from a produce display and burgers from McDonalds.
And those farm fields with interesting designs will just be bastions of "God and Guns" in Red Flyover States--while those who do little more than talk for a living will go on believing that they are the ones who make America, "America". I'm glad I know that will never be the case.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Super Bold Predictions
Time for the Annual Super BOLD Predictions for the big game on Sunday!
I predict that when NFL Network begins its 12 hours of pre-game coverage at 5:30 am, the first feature will be on the retirement of Ray Lewis.
I predict that when ESPN begins their 8 hours of pre-game coverage at 9:30 am, the first feature will be on the retirement of Ray Lewis.
I predict that when CBS begins its 6 hours of pre-game coverage at 11:30 am, the first feature will be on the retirement of Ray Lewis.
I predict that 60% of pre-game coverage will focus on Ray Lewis' retirement, 25% will be on the Brothers Harbaugh, 10% will cover everything you need to know about Deer Antler Velvet Spray and 5% will focus on actual matchups and strategies for the game itself.
I predict that Ray Lewis will do such an over-the-top introduction dance coming out of the tunnel that non-football-watching-wives will ask their husbands "Does that player have epilepsy?"
I predict the CBS technician in charge of editing out the profanity from field microphones will collapse in exhaustion while working on the tape of Ray Lewis' rambling pre-game rant to his teammates.
I predict that CBS will show five seconds of flag-waving during Alicia Key's National Anthem--and two-and-a-half minutes of Ray Lewis crying while listening to the song.
I predict that when the Ravens win the coin toss, Ray Lewis will collapse to the ground, kissing the field and crying while thanking God.
I predict the nation's phone and internet services will crash as millions of people try to contact their local Papa John's pizza to order the free medium one topping that they just won thanks to predicting the coin flip correctly.
I predict the kickoff will be a minimum 20-minutes later than the 5:30 time the NFL said it would be.
I predict Packers fans will want to throw their beer bottles through the TV as CBS shows highlights of Colin Kaepernick running wild in the NFC Divisional Playoff game.
I predict panic will sweep over the CBS production truck when on the third play of the game, Ray Lewis re-tears his Deer Antler Velvet Spray-repaired triceps muscle and is forced to head to the locker room.
I predict order will be restored in the CBS production truck when the producer tells everyone to switch to plan B--show Jack and Jackie Harbaugh's reaction to every play for the rest of the game.
I predict moments after the "racist" Volkswagen "Be Happy" ad airs, the CBS offices in New York will be flooded with calls from thousands of "offended" white liberals--there will be no calls from African-Americans or Jamaicans.
I predict that there will be MULITIPLE reports from MULTIPLE reporters on the status of Ray Lewis inside the locker room.
I predict that at halftime, Beyonce will NOT lip sync her performance--not that anyone would have noticed with the skimpy dress she will be wearing.
I predict that a tearful Ray Lewis will return to the Ravens sideline in street clothes for the second half--prompting Phil Simms to say "this will really inspire Baltimore to pull this game out" (like they had ZERO incentive to win before).
I predict that by the middle of the 3rd quarter, Jack Harbaugh will take to flashing the camera "the bird" so that they aren't shown after EVERY SINGLE PLAY!!
I predict that by the start of the 4th quarter, Frank Gore will be closing in on the Super Bowl rushing record of 204 yards held by Timmy Smith of all people--and Colin Kaepernick will be over the quarterback rushing record of 64 yard held by Steve McNair of all people.
I predict that non-football watching wives will complain about how "boring" the 49ers are--"because all they do is run the ball".
I predict CBS will forego showing any of the final two minutes of the game on the field--to focus exclusively on Ray Lewis hugging his teammates on the sidelines.
I predict a final score of San Francisco 31, Baltimore 10.
I predict NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will be greeted with deafening BOOOOOOS from the New Orleans crowd for the post-game ceremonies.
I predict CBS will miss the Super Bowl trophy presentation to get a live report from several reporters standing outside the Ravens locker room hoping to get an interview with Ray Lewis.
I predict Frank Gore will be the Super Bowl MVP.
I predict that Jack and Jackie Harbaugh will admit post-game that John is their favorite--and they are disappointed that Jim won tonight.
I predict members of Ray Lewis' posse will kill Roger Goodell in the parking lot after the game--in retaliation for "disrespecting their boy".
And finally, I predict 80% of those watching the game will not be able to give you the correct final score the next morning.
I predict that when NFL Network begins its 12 hours of pre-game coverage at 5:30 am, the first feature will be on the retirement of Ray Lewis.
I predict that when ESPN begins their 8 hours of pre-game coverage at 9:30 am, the first feature will be on the retirement of Ray Lewis.
I predict that when CBS begins its 6 hours of pre-game coverage at 11:30 am, the first feature will be on the retirement of Ray Lewis.
I predict that 60% of pre-game coverage will focus on Ray Lewis' retirement, 25% will be on the Brothers Harbaugh, 10% will cover everything you need to know about Deer Antler Velvet Spray and 5% will focus on actual matchups and strategies for the game itself.
I predict that Ray Lewis will do such an over-the-top introduction dance coming out of the tunnel that non-football-watching-wives will ask their husbands "Does that player have epilepsy?"
I predict the CBS technician in charge of editing out the profanity from field microphones will collapse in exhaustion while working on the tape of Ray Lewis' rambling pre-game rant to his teammates.
I predict that CBS will show five seconds of flag-waving during Alicia Key's National Anthem--and two-and-a-half minutes of Ray Lewis crying while listening to the song.
I predict that when the Ravens win the coin toss, Ray Lewis will collapse to the ground, kissing the field and crying while thanking God.
I predict the nation's phone and internet services will crash as millions of people try to contact their local Papa John's pizza to order the free medium one topping that they just won thanks to predicting the coin flip correctly.
I predict the kickoff will be a minimum 20-minutes later than the 5:30 time the NFL said it would be.
I predict Packers fans will want to throw their beer bottles through the TV as CBS shows highlights of Colin Kaepernick running wild in the NFC Divisional Playoff game.
I predict panic will sweep over the CBS production truck when on the third play of the game, Ray Lewis re-tears his Deer Antler Velvet Spray-repaired triceps muscle and is forced to head to the locker room.
I predict order will be restored in the CBS production truck when the producer tells everyone to switch to plan B--show Jack and Jackie Harbaugh's reaction to every play for the rest of the game.
I predict moments after the "racist" Volkswagen "Be Happy" ad airs, the CBS offices in New York will be flooded with calls from thousands of "offended" white liberals--there will be no calls from African-Americans or Jamaicans.
I predict that there will be MULITIPLE reports from MULTIPLE reporters on the status of Ray Lewis inside the locker room.
I predict that at halftime, Beyonce will NOT lip sync her performance--not that anyone would have noticed with the skimpy dress she will be wearing.
I predict that a tearful Ray Lewis will return to the Ravens sideline in street clothes for the second half--prompting Phil Simms to say "this will really inspire Baltimore to pull this game out" (like they had ZERO incentive to win before).
I predict that by the middle of the 3rd quarter, Jack Harbaugh will take to flashing the camera "the bird" so that they aren't shown after EVERY SINGLE PLAY!!
I predict that by the start of the 4th quarter, Frank Gore will be closing in on the Super Bowl rushing record of 204 yards held by Timmy Smith of all people--and Colin Kaepernick will be over the quarterback rushing record of 64 yard held by Steve McNair of all people.
I predict that non-football watching wives will complain about how "boring" the 49ers are--"because all they do is run the ball".
I predict CBS will forego showing any of the final two minutes of the game on the field--to focus exclusively on Ray Lewis hugging his teammates on the sidelines.
I predict a final score of San Francisco 31, Baltimore 10.
I predict NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will be greeted with deafening BOOOOOOS from the New Orleans crowd for the post-game ceremonies.
I predict CBS will miss the Super Bowl trophy presentation to get a live report from several reporters standing outside the Ravens locker room hoping to get an interview with Ray Lewis.
I predict Frank Gore will be the Super Bowl MVP.
I predict that Jack and Jackie Harbaugh will admit post-game that John is their favorite--and they are disappointed that Jim won tonight.
I predict members of Ray Lewis' posse will kill Roger Goodell in the parking lot after the game--in retaliation for "disrespecting their boy".
And finally, I predict 80% of those watching the game will not be able to give you the correct final score the next morning.
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