Time for the annual "Bold Predictions" for 2010.
--The Senate and the House will approve a Health Care Reform Bill that will not include a Public Option Plan. Everyone will complain its a terrible bill--but Democrats will pass it anyway--blaming Republicans for "obstructing real progress on reform".
--Capping off an amazing year end turnaround, the Dallas Cowboys will defeat the San Diego Chargers in the Super Bowl. The game will be marred by a continuous stream of semi-talented female country singers and starletts trying to carry away Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.
--Brett Favre will not announce a retirement this year. Instead, he will demand the Vikings make him Player/Coach to avoid further "heated discussions"on the sideline. Adrian Peterson will immediately demand a trade to a team where the quarterback won't keep audibling out of all his running plays.
--"Cobblestoners" will continue to enjoy success in local elections. Oshkosh voters will again send the message that basic, core services are what they want from City Hall. The School Board will see more members that support "rightsizing" the number of schools and teachers needed to serve our kids.
--Tiger Woods will win the British Open. He will be hailed as a "hero" for "overcoming all the challenges that beseiged him last year."
--The Oshkosh Corporation will be re-awarded the three-billion dollar FMTV contract--but production will be further delayed by federal lawsuits filed by the other "sore loser" bidders.
--Harley-Davidson--crippled by the continued recession--will exercise the same power play used by Mercury Marine in 2009--demanding huge incentives packages and employee concessions to keep production in Milwaukee. Workers and lawmakers will capitulate.
--Speaking of the recession, it will remain strong--fueled in 2010 by an increase in commercial real estate foreclosures and the continued lack of credit-worthiness of most Americans.
--President Obama will continue to blame George Bush for all problems--financial, social and international.
--Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke will all resign under pressure or will be fired.
--The Milwaukee Brewers will return to the playoffs. They will be the only team in the National League Central to finish above .500.
--The November elections will be a total disaster for Democrats at all levels. This will lead to an accelerated Kamikaze effort to pass as many new entitlement programs and as much social legislation as they can get through before sanity returns to government.
--Glenn Beck will come on the air naked and screaming about implants in his brain put there by operatives from the Obama Administration. He will immediately become the leading candidate for the Republican presidential nomination.
Happy New Year everybody. 2010 couldn't be any worse than 2009.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Festivus Airing of Grievances
Happy Festivus everyone. As is the time honored tradition established by Frank Costanza many years ago, it is time for the Airing of Grievances!! And as usual, I HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!
To President Obama: STOP SPENDING ALL OF MY MONEY!! AND MY CHILDREN'S MONEY!! AND MY GRANDCHILDREN'S MONEY!!
To Democrats in Congress: I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!! STOP CREATING BUREAUCRACIES MEANT TO GOVERN EVERY PART OF OUR LIVES FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE!!
To Governor Doyle: JUST BE A GOOD LAME DUCK AND STOP MAKING PROMISES TO PEOPLE WITH SOCIAL PROGRAMS THAT WE CANNOT AFFORD ANYMORE!!
To Glenn Beck: SPARE US THE THEATRICS AND THE CRYING!! YOU ARE A CLOWN AND YOU ARE MAKING REAL CONSERVATIVES LOOK BAD!!
To CBS: JUST DUMP KATIE COURIC ALREADY AND GIVE US WHAT WE REALLY WANT--JOHN STEWART AND THE DAILY SHOW ON AT 5:30 SO WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY UP SO LATE TO WATCH IT!! YOUR RATINGS WOULD SKYROCKET!!
To ESPN: STOP WITH THE ENDLESS PARADE OF TALKING HEADS, "INSIDERS" AND SELF-PROMOTION AND GO BACK TO HIGHLIGHTS ON SPORTSCENTER!! THERE'S NOTHING I HATE MORE THAN WANTING TO SEE BREWERS' HIGHLIGHTS AND HAVING TO SIT THROUGH FIVE MINUTES OF MEL KIPER'S "DRAFT BOARD" IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST!!
To the NFL Network and Time-Warner Cable: STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN AND GET THE NFL NETWORK ON OUR CABLE SYSTEM!! IF YOU DON'T DO IT SOON, OUR OVERACTIVE LEGISLATORS ARE GOING TO TRY AND PASS SOME KIND OF LAW REQUIRING YOU TO DO IT SO THE POOR PEOPLE OF WAUSAU DON'T MISS THE PACKERS AGAIN WHEN THEY PLAY IN ONE OF THOSE STUPID THURSDAY NIGHT GAMES!!
To the NCAA and University Presidents: STOP STUFFING YOUR WALLETS AND DUMP THE BCS!! IF YOU DON'T DO IT SOON, OUR OVERACTIVE CONGRESSMEN ARE GOING TO TRY AND PASS SOME KIND OF LAW REQUIRING YOU TO DO IT SO THE UCONN HUSKIES IN SENATOR CHRIS DODD'S DISTRICT WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN A REAL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!
To anyone who bought a "Snuggie": YOU LOOK LIKE IDIOTS!!
To all of the 24-hour News Networks: TELL ME YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON FROM "BALLOON BOY" AND YOU ARE GOING TO STOP TREATING MINOR, LOCAL EVENTS SUCH AS CAR CHASES AND APARTMENT FIRES LIKE SOMETHING THAT REQUIRES WALL-TO-WALL NATIONAL COVERAGE!!
To Balloon Boys parents: I HOPE THAT YOU GET THE MAXIMUM JAIL OR PRISON SENTENCE ALLOWED BY COLORADO LAW IN ORDER TO SERVE AS AN EXAMPLE TO EVERY OTHER MEDIA WHORE WHO BELIEVES THAT LIFE BEGINS AND ENDS BY BEING ON TELEVISION!!
To those who hate on Festivus: ADMIT YOU ARE JEALOUS THAT SOME OF US CAN LET GO OF THE CRASS COMMERCIALISM OF THIS TIME OF YEAR AND ENJOY A HOLIDAY THAT REQUIRES NO DECORATIONS, NO GIFTS, NO COOKIES, NO CARDS, NO SPECIAL SONGS AND NO GOING TO THE MALL. AND WE GET TO RELIEVE THE STRESS OF THE YEAR BY YELLING AT EACH OTHER!!
Now it is time for the FEATS OF STRENGTH. Remember, Festivus isn't over until you pin me to the ground.
To President Obama: STOP SPENDING ALL OF MY MONEY!! AND MY CHILDREN'S MONEY!! AND MY GRANDCHILDREN'S MONEY!!
To Democrats in Congress: I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!! STOP CREATING BUREAUCRACIES MEANT TO GOVERN EVERY PART OF OUR LIVES FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE!!
To Governor Doyle: JUST BE A GOOD LAME DUCK AND STOP MAKING PROMISES TO PEOPLE WITH SOCIAL PROGRAMS THAT WE CANNOT AFFORD ANYMORE!!
To Glenn Beck: SPARE US THE THEATRICS AND THE CRYING!! YOU ARE A CLOWN AND YOU ARE MAKING REAL CONSERVATIVES LOOK BAD!!
To CBS: JUST DUMP KATIE COURIC ALREADY AND GIVE US WHAT WE REALLY WANT--JOHN STEWART AND THE DAILY SHOW ON AT 5:30 SO WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY UP SO LATE TO WATCH IT!! YOUR RATINGS WOULD SKYROCKET!!
To ESPN: STOP WITH THE ENDLESS PARADE OF TALKING HEADS, "INSIDERS" AND SELF-PROMOTION AND GO BACK TO HIGHLIGHTS ON SPORTSCENTER!! THERE'S NOTHING I HATE MORE THAN WANTING TO SEE BREWERS' HIGHLIGHTS AND HAVING TO SIT THROUGH FIVE MINUTES OF MEL KIPER'S "DRAFT BOARD" IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST!!
To the NFL Network and Time-Warner Cable: STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN AND GET THE NFL NETWORK ON OUR CABLE SYSTEM!! IF YOU DON'T DO IT SOON, OUR OVERACTIVE LEGISLATORS ARE GOING TO TRY AND PASS SOME KIND OF LAW REQUIRING YOU TO DO IT SO THE POOR PEOPLE OF WAUSAU DON'T MISS THE PACKERS AGAIN WHEN THEY PLAY IN ONE OF THOSE STUPID THURSDAY NIGHT GAMES!!
To the NCAA and University Presidents: STOP STUFFING YOUR WALLETS AND DUMP THE BCS!! IF YOU DON'T DO IT SOON, OUR OVERACTIVE CONGRESSMEN ARE GOING TO TRY AND PASS SOME KIND OF LAW REQUIRING YOU TO DO IT SO THE UCONN HUSKIES IN SENATOR CHRIS DODD'S DISTRICT WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN A REAL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!
To anyone who bought a "Snuggie": YOU LOOK LIKE IDIOTS!!
To all of the 24-hour News Networks: TELL ME YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON FROM "BALLOON BOY" AND YOU ARE GOING TO STOP TREATING MINOR, LOCAL EVENTS SUCH AS CAR CHASES AND APARTMENT FIRES LIKE SOMETHING THAT REQUIRES WALL-TO-WALL NATIONAL COVERAGE!!
To Balloon Boys parents: I HOPE THAT YOU GET THE MAXIMUM JAIL OR PRISON SENTENCE ALLOWED BY COLORADO LAW IN ORDER TO SERVE AS AN EXAMPLE TO EVERY OTHER MEDIA WHORE WHO BELIEVES THAT LIFE BEGINS AND ENDS BY BEING ON TELEVISION!!
To those who hate on Festivus: ADMIT YOU ARE JEALOUS THAT SOME OF US CAN LET GO OF THE CRASS COMMERCIALISM OF THIS TIME OF YEAR AND ENJOY A HOLIDAY THAT REQUIRES NO DECORATIONS, NO GIFTS, NO COOKIES, NO CARDS, NO SPECIAL SONGS AND NO GOING TO THE MALL. AND WE GET TO RELIEVE THE STRESS OF THE YEAR BY YELLING AT EACH OTHER!!
Now it is time for the FEATS OF STRENGTH. Remember, Festivus isn't over until you pin me to the ground.
Friday, December 18, 2009
What's Wrong With Going Undefeated?
Do you know of any sport beside the NFL where teams are encouraged to lose a game? I'm not talking about throwing a game--but rather just not trying as hard as possible to win?
I ask this following another week of debate on the sports networks and talk radio about what the undefeated Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints should do over the last three weeks of the season--play their starters and try to win--or rest everyone and increase the possibility of losing. The majority of "experts" and talking heads support sitting the stars--going undefeated isn't worth the risk of injury they say. A few think both teams should go all out to go undefeated.
As someone who has played organized sports my entire life, I cannot fathom the idea of not trying to win everytime you step on the field, the court or the course. And I would hope that inside each of the high-paid players on the Colts and the Saints they feel the same way. You're just as likely to get hurt at 8-5 as you are at 13-0.
The "don't try to go undefeated" attitude is really present only in the NFL--which is ironic since it is the only league that charges regular season prices for its pre-season games--in effect telling fans that contests played by a bunch of guys who will be driving forklifts a few days after the games are just as important as the must-win showdown in week 17. I think that if the Colts or Saints decide they aren't going to try to win a game this season they should be required to let the fans know--so they can ask for their money back.
Obviously, the Colts didn't go for that "rest your starters" junk last night--beating the Jaguars 35-31 in a game where Peyton Manning could have spent the entire second half on the bench. I'm guessing Drew Brees will be playing the entire game Saturday night--lighting up my Dallas Cowboys.
So don't be afraid to go undefeated, teams. Remember, it's the only way you can guarantee a championship. Unless of course you are a college football team dealing with the BCS--look at how going undefeated is working out for TCU, Boise State and Cincinnati.
I ask this following another week of debate on the sports networks and talk radio about what the undefeated Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints should do over the last three weeks of the season--play their starters and try to win--or rest everyone and increase the possibility of losing. The majority of "experts" and talking heads support sitting the stars--going undefeated isn't worth the risk of injury they say. A few think both teams should go all out to go undefeated.
As someone who has played organized sports my entire life, I cannot fathom the idea of not trying to win everytime you step on the field, the court or the course. And I would hope that inside each of the high-paid players on the Colts and the Saints they feel the same way. You're just as likely to get hurt at 8-5 as you are at 13-0.
The "don't try to go undefeated" attitude is really present only in the NFL--which is ironic since it is the only league that charges regular season prices for its pre-season games--in effect telling fans that contests played by a bunch of guys who will be driving forklifts a few days after the games are just as important as the must-win showdown in week 17. I think that if the Colts or Saints decide they aren't going to try to win a game this season they should be required to let the fans know--so they can ask for their money back.
Obviously, the Colts didn't go for that "rest your starters" junk last night--beating the Jaguars 35-31 in a game where Peyton Manning could have spent the entire second half on the bench. I'm guessing Drew Brees will be playing the entire game Saturday night--lighting up my Dallas Cowboys.
So don't be afraid to go undefeated, teams. Remember, it's the only way you can guarantee a championship. Unless of course you are a college football team dealing with the BCS--look at how going undefeated is working out for TCU, Boise State and Cincinnati.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Notebook
I have this notebook at home that I use for my family budget. It's nothing fancy really, just a steno pad with a red line down the center of the page, allowing me to put expenses on the left side and income on the right. I have personal finance software that I use to track spending and saving--but there is something cathartic about taking the time to write down on paper where all of the money my wife and I bring in goes each month. The pages are just the right size to get two months on each side--meaning my current page goes out to March.
Is it boring to have your life planned out like that? Sure. But it is also incredibly reassuring to know that everything is taken care of--and that cash is available in case something totally unforeseen comes up.
What I wonder is how many other people have a notebook at home? Did President Obama ever have a budget notebook? Did he ever sit down every day or every few days to plot the course of his finances? And passing that off to Michelle because he was too busy "organizing neighborhoods" doesn't count. Does Timothy Geithner track his own budget? Could he tell us how much is in his checking or savings account at any moment? I doubt they can--or else they wouldn't be telling us that we can "spend our way out of this recession." Would it surprise you to learn that only eight percent of those working at high levels of the Obama Administration have actually worked in the private sector? Just eight percent have experience balancing budgets that are not funded by taxpayers--and don't have that bottomless (they believe) pit from which to draw upon for more money.
How about Senator Harry Reid, Congressman Steve Kagen or any of the other lawmakers who tell us that we "can't afford not to have a public health care plan"? What do their notebooks look like? I can actually see Jim Doyle having a notebook at one time--but losing it years ago based on his current budgeting practices. And how many of our local leaders or school administrators have their personal finances in tight order? Finding places to cut in big public budgets is a lot easier if you have practice at home with finances that affect you directly.
I would love to give everyone I've mentioned in this "Two Cents" a notebook for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or Festivus--but I'm afraid my notebook tells me there isn't that much money left in the "gift fund".
Is it boring to have your life planned out like that? Sure. But it is also incredibly reassuring to know that everything is taken care of--and that cash is available in case something totally unforeseen comes up.
What I wonder is how many other people have a notebook at home? Did President Obama ever have a budget notebook? Did he ever sit down every day or every few days to plot the course of his finances? And passing that off to Michelle because he was too busy "organizing neighborhoods" doesn't count. Does Timothy Geithner track his own budget? Could he tell us how much is in his checking or savings account at any moment? I doubt they can--or else they wouldn't be telling us that we can "spend our way out of this recession." Would it surprise you to learn that only eight percent of those working at high levels of the Obama Administration have actually worked in the private sector? Just eight percent have experience balancing budgets that are not funded by taxpayers--and don't have that bottomless (they believe) pit from which to draw upon for more money.
How about Senator Harry Reid, Congressman Steve Kagen or any of the other lawmakers who tell us that we "can't afford not to have a public health care plan"? What do their notebooks look like? I can actually see Jim Doyle having a notebook at one time--but losing it years ago based on his current budgeting practices. And how many of our local leaders or school administrators have their personal finances in tight order? Finding places to cut in big public budgets is a lot easier if you have practice at home with finances that affect you directly.
I would love to give everyone I've mentioned in this "Two Cents" a notebook for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or Festivus--but I'm afraid my notebook tells me there isn't that much money left in the "gift fund".
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Not to Defend the BCS..........
I like to watch all the afternoon sports debate shows on ESPN every day. As you might expect, yesterday was dominated by talk of the BCS and what a travesty it is that five undefeated college football teams don't get to decide the National Championship on the field. While the talking heads were more than happy to take shots at University and College Presidents for being "greedy" no one had the cajones to point to the real reason we don't have a playoff in major college football--women.
No, there is not a women's group secretly pulling strings at the NCAA preventing all efforts to have a playoff. I am talking about Title IX of the US Justice Code--which requires "equal educational opportunities for both sexes." In college sports, Title IX means that the number of scholarships offered to female athletes must match the percentage of female students enrolled at the school. If you have a 55-percent female population, 55-percent of the scholarships must go to women. This places a huge strain on men's football to carry the entire athletic department at most Division I universities and colleges.
That is the reason Wisconsin plays home games against Wofford or The Citadel every year--another opportunity to put 85-thousand people into $50 dollar seats at Camp Randall Stadium. It's also why Wisconsin has a women's softball team--but not a men's baseball team. I was going to school there at the time that baseball--along with men's gymnastics was dropped due to budget concerns--and let me tell you, it was not pretty.
The reason we the BCS and the 39-other bowl games is really dollars and cents. Until the NCAA can guarantee the schools as much money from a playoff system as the current setup generates, there will never be a playoff.
Now, I am certainly not calling for the dissolution of Title IX. I'm sure that if I ever have a daughter I will want as many opportunities for her as possible. And let's be honest here--women's hockey is never going to come close to breaking even at any college. But let's at least acknowledge why the major schools are trying to milk as much money as they can from their biggest cash cow.
No, there is not a women's group secretly pulling strings at the NCAA preventing all efforts to have a playoff. I am talking about Title IX of the US Justice Code--which requires "equal educational opportunities for both sexes." In college sports, Title IX means that the number of scholarships offered to female athletes must match the percentage of female students enrolled at the school. If you have a 55-percent female population, 55-percent of the scholarships must go to women. This places a huge strain on men's football to carry the entire athletic department at most Division I universities and colleges.
That is the reason Wisconsin plays home games against Wofford or The Citadel every year--another opportunity to put 85-thousand people into $50 dollar seats at Camp Randall Stadium. It's also why Wisconsin has a women's softball team--but not a men's baseball team. I was going to school there at the time that baseball--along with men's gymnastics was dropped due to budget concerns--and let me tell you, it was not pretty.
The reason we the BCS and the 39-other bowl games is really dollars and cents. Until the NCAA can guarantee the schools as much money from a playoff system as the current setup generates, there will never be a playoff.
Now, I am certainly not calling for the dissolution of Title IX. I'm sure that if I ever have a daughter I will want as many opportunities for her as possible. And let's be honest here--women's hockey is never going to come close to breaking even at any college. But let's at least acknowledge why the major schools are trying to milk as much money as they can from their biggest cash cow.
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