Thursday, December 31, 2009

Bold Predictions for 2010

Time for the annual "Bold Predictions" for 2010.

--The Senate and the House will approve a Health Care Reform Bill that will not include a Public Option Plan. Everyone will complain its a terrible bill--but Democrats will pass it anyway--blaming Republicans for "obstructing real progress on reform".

--Capping off an amazing year end turnaround, the Dallas Cowboys will defeat the San Diego Chargers in the Super Bowl. The game will be marred by a continuous stream of semi-talented female country singers and starletts trying to carry away Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

--Brett Favre will not announce a retirement this year. Instead, he will demand the Vikings make him Player/Coach to avoid further "heated discussions"on the sideline. Adrian Peterson will immediately demand a trade to a team where the quarterback won't keep audibling out of all his running plays.

--"Cobblestoners" will continue to enjoy success in local elections. Oshkosh voters will again send the message that basic, core services are what they want from City Hall. The School Board will see more members that support "rightsizing" the number of schools and teachers needed to serve our kids.

--Tiger Woods will win the British Open. He will be hailed as a "hero" for "overcoming all the challenges that beseiged him last year."

--The Oshkosh Corporation will be re-awarded the three-billion dollar FMTV contract--but production will be further delayed by federal lawsuits filed by the other "sore loser" bidders.

--Harley-Davidson--crippled by the continued recession--will exercise the same power play used by Mercury Marine in 2009--demanding huge incentives packages and employee concessions to keep production in Milwaukee. Workers and lawmakers will capitulate.

--Speaking of the recession, it will remain strong--fueled in 2010 by an increase in commercial real estate foreclosures and the continued lack of credit-worthiness of most Americans.

--President Obama will continue to blame George Bush for all problems--financial, social and international.

--Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke will all resign under pressure or will be fired.

--The Milwaukee Brewers will return to the playoffs. They will be the only team in the National League Central to finish above .500.

--The November elections will be a total disaster for Democrats at all levels. This will lead to an accelerated Kamikaze effort to pass as many new entitlement programs and as much social legislation as they can get through before sanity returns to government.

--Glenn Beck will come on the air naked and screaming about implants in his brain put there by operatives from the Obama Administration. He will immediately become the leading candidate for the Republican presidential nomination.

Happy New Year everybody. 2010 couldn't be any worse than 2009.

3 comments:

  1. Happy New Year Jonny.

    I hope this prediction you've made does actually come to pass.

    "--"Cobblestoners" will continue to enjoy success in local elections. Oshkosh voters will again send the message that basic, core services are what they want from City Hall. The School Board will see more members that support "rightsizing" the number of schools and teachers needed to serve our kids."

    ReplyDelete
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