Friday, July 17, 2009

WhoCares?.com

My latest idea for becomming a billionaire has hit a major roadblock. I thought that I could develop the hot new internet site whocares.com--but it turns out that the domain name is already being used. It's not even an interesting site--just someone advertising wedding services. I don't even know why they would have selected whocares.com for the site.

Whocares.com would have become the exclusive source of "news" that generates plenty of coverage on the 24-hour channels--but really has no impact on the average American's life at all. For instance, need to know the latest on what happened to Michael Jackson's body after his memorial service last week? Go to whocares.com. Want to watch live coverage of said memorial service? Whocares.com.

When Brett Favre announces that he will make his announcement soon on whether he will play for Minnesota this season, whocares.com will be your exclusive source. Madonna trying to steal another baby from Africa? Whocares.com is all over that one. Whocares.com would also become the only portal to celebrity Twitter accounts. Make that all Twitter accounts. We should probably look at taking over MySpace and Facebook as well--both perfect candidates for whocares.com.

Whocares.com would have an entire page dedicated exclusively to televised police chases. Another page would be dedicated to local bowling scores--rolled a 200-game last night? Send your two friends to whocares.com to check it out!!

By making whocares.com the outlet for all things non-important, the rest of the media can focus on the really important things--like the Congressional Budget Office's report on the "real" cost of the new health care bill. In case you didn't hear about that one--and it would be easy to miss since it wasn't the top story on any nightly newscast this week--the report finds the House Democrat's plan would not cut what the government spends on health care--which is what we were promised--or even equal what is currently being spent. Instead, it would add half a trillion dollars in federal spending over the next decade.

That's the kind of news you would never see on whocares.com.

3 comments:

  1. Ah, yet another business opportunity based on The H. L. Mencken Principle:
    "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public."
    You're sure to become rich!
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. So, basically your big idea is invent tmz.com.

    Jesus, Krause, even your sarcastic whining isn't original.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahaha! I found this blog because i wanted the email fuckoff@whocares.com
    I found the same thing you did!

    ReplyDelete