Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My New Hero

I'm sure many of you are tuning in (or logging on) today expecting me to rip into Brett Favre for coming back to play again in the NFL. Well I'm afraid that you will be disappointed--because I am actually making Brett Favre my new hero. In fact, I am going to live my life just like Number Four--because obviously it is the best life anyone can imagine.

That is why I am announcing that I am retiring from WOSH. The fire to get up at 3:00 in the morning and come in to work just isn't there anymore. I've given all that I can give to Oshkosh radio and there's nothing left for me to prove.

Of course, I would be willing to come back to work tomorrow--for a competing radio station if the bosses there will let me come in late (about 8:45 would be nice). I'd also like someone else to do all my newsgathering and writing as well so there is no need to really prepare for the day. In fact, just throw out the scripts--I'll just make things up as I go along--that is why people have loved me for so long. I don't care what's in the playbook--I'm a gunslinger baby--I make my own rules now.

I really don't care that my job has been promised to other people after my retirement. I'm Jonathan Krause--I've got awards on my wall--that automatically proves I'm better than any of those slubs.

Oh and by the way, if you ask me if I'm coming back to work at the station I am going to tell you a bald-faced lie--even though management and I have the deal all worked out. You don't need to know the truth about what I'm doing.

I hope my new co-workers don't plan on talking to me or expect me to take part in corporate team-building activities. I've been around long enough in this business to know what I am doing. Just do enough to make me look good. I'll take all the credit when things go great--but you will be thrown under the bus for not wanting it enough when things go bad.

I also want my own private office, my own jet and when we do have to travel, I get my own room at a better hotel than where everyone else is staying, thank you.

You know, I think I am really going to like living like my new hero--Brett Favre. Now if I could just find someone to pay me 12-million dollars a year to sabotage their company and shatter their hopes and dreams.........


  1. The wife and I realized YEARS ago that Brett Favre, while a superior one-of-a-kind athelete, was a very sorry excuse for a human being, utterly lacking in the qualities of true sportsmanship, character, and integrity. It is SO gratifying now to have SO many people in the area, who lionized him and worshipped him and held him up as the pinnacle of professional-sports superhuman wonderfulness to realize that he's really a very small man where it matters: in the heart and in the soul. Their idol not only has feet of clay; it turns out his throwing arm is about the only part of him that wasn't clay.

  2. Even though I've lived in Wisconsin for 34 years, I was still amazed last night when Channel 2 found it necessary to interrupt the national news (which was doing a very interesting and important report on the vaccine for cervical cancer, by the way) to show the "live" feed from MN. Is it just me, or did Brett almost look embarrassed standing there? He had the dumbest grin on his face, like even HE thought it was a bad idea!

  3. How qiuckly this society forgets ALL Brett and Deanna's MILLIONS of charitable donations. These organizations will always be thankful.
    We should all be thankful for 16 memorable years that put Green Bay on the Football Map.
    NOW, Consider ALL the parasites making the ever loving dollars with his return to a game.

    The SAD part is TT and MM and some "so-called" Packer fans were/are to bull-headed or just stupid to recognize the man's true value.
    It takes a RIVAL Viking team and Minnesota to recognize Facts.
    Love him or hate him Brett is GOOD for the sport of football.

    The NFL,the VIKINGS, ESPN All know it. Packer Nation should wake up to these facts.

  4. No, TT & MM made a committment to Aaron Rodgers, they HONORED that committment. I think it was "unsportsman" like of Favre to commit himself to retirement, the Packers then move on to committing to Rodgers, BUT THEN, Favre decides he wants to play again, and as a starter, so he thinks the Packers should just push Rodgers aside. Favre is only making himself look like a fool and an idiot by making these comebacks. I hope he falls flat on his face during the season not only because the Vikings are a Packer's rival, but to prove to him that he is worn out and then hopefully he'll retire for good and end this shenanigans.

  5. "How quickly this society forgets ALL Brett and Deanna's MILLIONS of charitable donations."

    Remember the Parable of the Widow's Mite? Giving millions is no big deal when you've been paid obscene amounts of money to play a children's game. It's in fact a very easy way to look good to the easily impressed AND get oneself a nice big tax break.

  6. "Favre is only making himself look like a fool and an idiot by making these comebacks. I hope he falls flat on his face during the season"

    As a life-long Vikings' fan, I am hoping this is an elaborate revenge scheme, that they'll get Favre here and then put him on the BENCH! "Sorry, big guy, if Tavaris gets pooped, maybe we'll put you in a little. No, no, you just have a seat. We'll let you know if we want you to play." Heh heh! Just the thought of Captain Ego warming the bench delights me!