Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Mind if I Smoke, Dude?

I will never understand marijuana smokers. I've never smoked pot in my life--never inhaled (which I guess disqualifies me from ever running as President as a Democrat)--so I have no idea what compels people to do it. I just bring it up because of two incidents over the weekend.

The first was Saturday night at the U2 concert in Chicago. Someone in our section decided they would light up during the show. We were downwind of this person--so the smoke kept wafting over us. All I could think about was how the odor might be sticking to my clothes and what people are going to think when they could smell it on me during the bus and train ride home after the show. "Did you smell that guy with the Wisconsin Badgers gear on?" they would say to one another. "He must have been totally baked."

I know I shouldn't be surprised that someone was smoking marijunana at a rock concert--but nearly everyone in our section was old. I mean thirty-five and up. Don't you eventually give up on the teenage rebellion of getting high and move on to more mature things--like seven dollar cups of beer? Can any of these middle-aged stoners tell me anything great they have done while high? Was the music somehow better after you lit up? It's time to give up the weed and join the rest of us at the adult table now.

I also am curious as to why at every Packers home game someone is arrested for possession of marijuana inside Lambeau Field. Pot at a concert I can sort of understand--but at a professional football game? I wonder what the game starts looking like after the second or third joint. Maybe the stress of a close pre-season game with the Cleveland Browns is too much for those fans to handle. And how do you think that you can get away with smoking that without anyone noticing? I guess it makes those six-dollar hot dogs taste better--as you eat three of them to "cure" the munchies.

The real problem lieswithin the pot culture itself. I've been at a court hearing where a witness on the stand got into an argument with an attorney about the legality of smoking marijuana. The man had witnessed a murder. The defense attorney asked him if he had been lighting up that night--and the witness admitted he had been. The attorney asked him if he knew that was illegal. The guy said smoking pot isn't illegal. The attorney said "It's not?"--to which the witness replied "Possession of pot is illegal--and selling pot is illegal--but smoking it isn't illegal." As you might expect in a room full of legal experts--the laughter was difficult to stifle.

So smoke 'em if you got 'em pothead--apparently you think it's legal and acceptable anywhere. Just don't do it anywhere around me, please.


  1. An awful lot of folks say that marihuana is not addictive, not like heroin or nicotine anyway. But when people do such dumb things to partake, you really have to wonder. Why else would you do something so stupid if you didn't have a monkey on your back? If people can be "sex addicts" or "video game addicts", I suppose they can be "marihuana addicts", eh?

    And stoners that I knew back in the Sixties were furtive as all get out -- downright paranoid, in fact. Why so different now? Maybe it's part of self-delusion, so they can tell themselves they are "good" people and not criminals?

    P.S. My nickname has nothing to do with amphetamines, BTW.

  2. Can you imagine the mayhem had he been smoking tobacco in a public venue?

    By the way, what's the penalty for lighting up a Cig in Lambeau these days, Banned for Life?

    the hypocricy reeks as bad as that Joint!

    Signed: an Ex Smoker and glad for it...

  3. What would you rather have a drunk driver or a stoned driver?

  4. Talk about Hobson's choice! Either is impaired and liable to kill you! This ain't no zero-sum game. One being bad don't make the other one good!

  5. there is a huge difference between being stoned and being drunk

  6. Oh, there's a difference. There's also a difference between being stupid because you were born that way and stupid because you refuse to get educated, too, but in the end, you're still just stupid.

    If some jerk isn't on top of his game while driving and runs me over and kills me, it doesn't matter if he was drunk, stoned, or just texting his peeps. I'm still dead.

    Of course, if you've spent much time stoned, I'm not surprised yopu'd have a hard time figuring that out. You want fries with that, dude?

  7. If I get stopped by the police it would be immediately obvious if I have been drinking. It would take a blood test to prove I was stoned. It's apples and oranges. Why are so many states legalizing possession?