I'm off tomorrow through next Wednesday--so I'll leave you with some questions to consider in my absence.
What are we going to do without Oprah? Where will celebrities go to be told how "amazing" or "inspiring" or "hillarious" they are? How will we know what incredibly overpriced, useless things are "Oprah's Favorites"? How will we know what books to read? How will we know if Witney Houston is back on crack or not? How will we know what movies to watch? And how will we know what Presidential candidate to vote for? Doesn't Oprah know how much America depends on her to form their opinions and direct their lives?
Can the people who spent their life's savings to promote Harold Camping's rapture prediction sue that idiot? Did any of those so sure it was going to happen consider that perhaps it did--and they just weren't judged to be worthy? And how could anyone take Camping's new prediction of October 21st seriously? Have the billboards and USA Today ads already been purchased to "warn" us again?
How do members of the Westboro Baptist Church live with themselves? How can you believe that tornadoes that wiped out Joplin are because God wants to punish the US for tolerating homosexuality? How long until those storm victims get fed up with those idiots and start pelting them with the storm debris?
How does Mother Nature know when Memorial Day weekend is every year? Have we had nice, dry weather for that weekend in the last two decades? Would it help if we listed the holiday weekend on early printings of calendars--and then changed it a few weeks in advance?
Have a safe enjoyable Memorial Day weekend. One final question to consider: Where would we be without the men and women who gave their lives in service of country?