Since we are getting updates on the "State of" everything else this week.......
My fellow fiscally responsible Americans, the state of Jonathan is improving. (STANDING OVATION)
After two years of reduced income, personal setbacks and challenges, Jonathan is coming back (STANDING OVATION).
Jonathan saw the smallest increase in his property taxes in the four years since becoming a homeowner (EXTENDED STANDING OVATION)
By the end of this week, Jonathan should know if he ended up paying less in personal income taxes--both federal and state--this year. And if I do, how I will end up using the excess to help stimulate the economy (STANDING OVATION).
Jonathan became more energy efficient in the last year by installing new windows in his house. And the milder winter that may be due to global climate change has lowered my heating bills as well (STANDING OVATION).
Jonathan remains debt free (LONGEST AND LOUDEST STANDING OVATION OF THE NIGHT). And Jonathan has returned to putting money away for neccessary large purchases in the future like a new car for his wife (STANDING OVATION AS CAMERA SWITCHES TO MY WIFE IN THE GALLERY) and new carpeting in the bedrooms.
Past fiscal responsibility allowed Jonathan to refinance my house at nearly half the previous interest rate--and substantially reduce my monthly payment--allowing for even greater contributions to the savings account each month (ANOTHER LONG AND LOUD STANDING OVATION).
And who can forget the Boston Bruins ending 39-years of frustration for Jonathan by finally winning a Stanley Cup Championship. (STANDING OVATION WITH CHANTS OF "BRUINS! BRUINS!)
Perhaps most importantly, Jonathan has trimmed three strokes off his golf handicap--and I continue to move toward my goal of becoming eligible to qualify for the State and US Mid-Amateur golf tournaments (STANDING OVATION WITH LOTS OF WHOOPING AND HOLLERING).
However, Jonathan is still facing challenges. I am about five pounds over my ideal weight (CONCERNED GRUMBLE). Jonathan has also passed the two year mark in waiting to adopt my first child. And Jonathan is still looking at not getting a raise anytime in the near future--as costs for gas, food and other necessities continue to rise.
Things are getting better for Jonathan, but we must remain ever vigilant and resist the temptation to go back to ways that set us back in the past. Thank you and ON WISCONSIN! (FINAL EXTENDED STANDING OVATION).