Thursday, October 29, 2015

Pretty In Pink

I'll be the first to admit that I don't understand the female mind.  I'll never get why you would buy shoes that literally cripple your feet and keep you in constant pain.  I can't comprehend how a two page menu at a restaurant can lead to a ten minute internal debate over what to order.  And I certainly don't comprehend how you don't find Monty Python and Star Wars entertaining.  But I take solace in knowing that I am not alone in my befuddlement.

The latest proof that men have no clue when it comes to women is from the State Legislature, which this week approved the use of blaze pink clothing for gun-deer hunters in Wisconsin.  The argument for this bill is that "it will get more women interested in hunting".  I'm guessing that the research group consulted for this measure consisted of five-year old girls like my niece--for whom anything pink is "cool".

Think about it.  What these lawmakers are saying is that there is a group of women out there that really want to drive three hours to spend a week in a shack without indoor plumbing, cable TV, internet and phone service in order to get up before dawn, put on four layers of clothing and weatherproof hiking boots and trudge through woods in the dark carrying a weapon that could accidentally go off and kill you or one of your friends and then sit exposed to the cold, the wind, the rain and the snow all day to stare at a bunch of trees hoping that something will come walking by--and when something does, firing a high-powered rifle that requires pinpoint accuracy and aim to kill a beautiful and graceful animal--which you then have to cut open and pull out its guts before dragging its 200-pound carcass back through the woods to hang in a tree for a couple of days before driving three hours home with it hanging off of your bumper--but they don't do any of that just because they have to wear blaze orange while doing it.

If we apply that same logic to other avenues of life, can we assume that if the robots, the computers and the numbers on the pages were pink, more women will want to work in the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics?  If their smocks were pink, would you see more female traders on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange?  If George Lucas used CGI to put Princess Leia in a pink prom dress, would my wife want to watch all six Star Wars movies with me on a snowy winter weekend?
If I was a woman in Wisconsin, I would be offended by this blaze pink bill and the message it sends.  And if I was a legislator's wife, I'd expect an apology and a nice gift.  Just don't bring her pink roses.

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