Oshkosh becomes the center of the political universe today--for at least a couple of hours. Senators John McCain and Barack Obama will make seperate campaign appearances in the city today--both of which you will hear live here on WOSH.
With apologies to David Letterman, here's the list of Top Ten Things You Won't Hear at Either of Today's Campaign Rallies:
10--That Barack Obama just isn't liberal enough for me.
9--Today's weather proves we need to do something about global warming.
8--Let me give you a detailed plan for securing peace in Iraq and getting our troops out of there.
7--My boss was more than happy to give me the afternoon off so I could be a more informed voter.
6--If I can't win, I want you to vote for Hillary Clinton.
5--While I love to talk about change, I know the current atmosphere in Washington will crush all hope of that in about six months.
4--John McCain's good looks and intoxicating vocal style are all I need to vote for him.
3--I don't want you to contribute to my campaign fund. I think money corrupts the system.
2--You bought too expensive a house, didn't save any money and ran up your credit cards? Sorry, there's nothing the government can do for you.
1--I promise to shrink the size of the Government and to make more efficient use of your tax dollars.