Friday, July 1, 2011

Some New Rules

I have a few new rules that need to be adopted as quickly as possible.

NEW RULE:  Anyone talking about the Federal debt issue must give us the amount of money that they propose to save us.  I suggest this rule after watching the President on Wednesday continue to harp on the "tax breaks for corporate jet owners".  I have spent the last couple of days trying to figure out how much more revenue that would bring in--but I cannot find it anywhere on the internet.  Given the fact that the President mentioned it about 12-times in his press conference I can only assume that closing this "loophole" will generate at least a trillion dollars.  Think that might be a bit high?  Well then it has to be at least a couple hundred billion right?  Um, a couple million?  At least Paul Ryan has charts and graphs when he talks about revising Medicare and Medicaid.

(BTW--this might be a good time to point out the "tax break for corporate jet owners" was part of President Obama's Stimulus Package.  It was meant to boost orders for planes like those built and serviced by Gulfstream in Greenville.  Might want to ask the people working there what they think of the "evil, rich people who are soaking the American People by using this tax credit".)

NEW RULE: If you are going to complain about the fireworks displays this year--please add how much you had to pay to enjoy the show.  I have no doubts there will be plenty of people who think the Sawdust Days fireworks display should be on the 4th of July, that it started too late, was too short, was too loud, didn't have enough big shells and didn't have a big enough "grand finale".  As you register your complaint, please keep in mind that without the generosity of companies like Festival Foods, you would have been sitting in a park staring at the dark sky "enjoying" nothing more than the repetitive music coming from the Sabor y Mexico tent.

NEW RULE:  Those blue "classic car" license plates can be issued only to "classic cars".  I propose this rule after seeing the plates on a 1984 Ford Escort, an early '80's Saab and some ugly Chevy station wagon this year.  I realize the only requirement to get the "collector" plate is that the vehicle be 25-years old--but c'mon A FORD ESCORT?!?!?!?!?  You can make the argument that the '57 Bel Air or the '65 Chevelle were the Saabs and Saturns of their day--but look at those cars!!  They have actually styling, and interior room and engines that could produce enough horsepower to cruise on the highway at 12-hundred RPM's.  If I see an Aerostar Minivan with a blue plate soon, I may just veer into the first power pole I see.

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