Tuesday, December 20, 2011


I've been hoping the incredible disparity between the rich and the poor would be closed over the years--but it is clear that nothing is going to change anytime soon--so I think the time has come to recall Santa Claus.  It's obvious that Santa is nothing more than a puppet of big corporations promoting their anti-working families agendas and rewarding his rich friends.

You've seen the TV ads, Santa brings the "one percent" expensive jewelry, big TV's and even leased Lexuses (Lexi?).  Meanwhile, poor, hardworking "99-percent" are forced to rely on the generosity of strangers just to have something to put under the tree.  So let's get those pre-printed petitions ready to remove Father Christmas from his office.

First off, we'll need someone to run against Santa in the recall election.  Someone whose "jolly", "fat" and represents "diversity".  Did the first name pop into your head too?  Of course, Barney Frank!!  He's leaving Congress so he will have time to take over the job.

Next, we need to come up with a more "fair" way of running Christmas.  Why don't we have Santa Barney go from house to house on Christmas Eve taking gifts from the rich and giving them to more "deserving" families. 

Wait a minute--Al Gore just requested Santa Barney cruise around in Chevy Volt rather than a sleigh pulled by reindeer (which should be grazing and mating in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve)--so we'd better give him a month to make his rounds.  Need to keep plugging in every 70-miles.

Oops, Attorney General Eric Holder just requested we drop the whole "naughty and nice" determinant for gifts as well--since that is too "subjective" to be fairly determined.  He recommends Santa Barney distribute gifts strictly based on race, income and sexual orientation.

Hang on, AFSCME just demanded that its members not have to give up anything to benefit anyone else.  So if you put a big blue fist in your window or your front yard, Santa Barney will "passover" your house--and just take more from your neighbor.

Ummm--the Occupy Wall Street folks just weighed in.  They'd like all of the corporate-made toys removed and replaced by "fair trade" items.  So I guess all of the kids will have to enjoy their hand-woven burlap dolls produced by the native peoples of Ecuador from eco-friendly, organic, sustainable growing operations.

The folks on the Diversity Council would also like us to refrain from using the term "Christmas"--since it offends all of the non-Christians.  The preferred term from here on out should be "Non-Denominational Celebration of All Beliefs and Non-Beliefs Day--Unless Your Religion Bans The Celebration Of All Holidays--In Which Case Happy Sunday."

We already have the recall machinery in place--so lets hit the malls and the community carol sings and the masses and let's get those signatures!  It's time to teach Santa the meaning of "fairness".

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