Wednesday, May 9, 2012


So the recall election will be a rematch of the 2010 gubernatorial election.  Whoopie!!  Comedian Kevin James in his standup routine had a bit about people who got divorced and then started dating each other again saying "It's like going to the refrigerator and taking a big gulp of milk and realizing 'Oh that milk is sour!!'  Then going back an hour later and saying 'Hey, I wonder if that milk got any better?'"

One of the drawbacks of working in the media is that sometimes the best thing for your job isn't the best thing for you as a "regular citizen".  The best potential outcome for this recall race in June would be a very narrow victory by one of the candidates--forcing a recount.  And I don't mean a one-percent win--but a victory based on just a handful of votes--like a couple hundred statewide.

A recall recount would be the perfect ending to what has been a circus from day one.  First, you would have no concession speech on election night.  The winner would be demanding the loser concede--the loser would be saying it's "still too close to call!"  That would be followed by the usual assortment of "voter fraud" claims--"I tried to vote but I was told I couldn't" or "I saw bags of ballots just sitting in the corner unguarded" or "felons got off a bus and cast ballots in exchange for packs of cigarettes!"

Then would come the recount process itself--which would require at least two attornies on hand to challenge every stray mark or "too light for the machine" to read circle on every single ballot in all 72 counties.  And when the race gets even tighter (or the results "flip" as a result of the recount) you will have the legal challenges--first in Dane County court if Tom Barrett loses-or in Waukesha County if Scott Walker loses--followed by an appeal to the State Court of Appeals--and eventually on to the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

As the recall recount goes to the high court, both parties will be howling for certain justices on the "other side" recuse themselves to guarantee a majority that would rule in their favor.  Maybe the Justices could get into fistfights again--just to further spice things up.  And when nobody likes their ruling--it could go into the Federal Courts for another two or three rounds of appeals.

Meanwhile, as the court challenges drag on, Wisconsinites are left wondering just what the hell is going on.  Businesses refuse to expand or hire due to the uncertainty--and the economy continues to lag.  Maybe the public sector unions can take a few dozen days off to protest everywhere everyday as well.

And finally, after months and months and months of all out chaos--a court somewhere issues the final ruling and declares a final winner--just in time for the 2014 gubernatorial race to begin.

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