Monday, July 16, 2012

The Magic Wand

Don't you wish you had a magic wand--and that by waiving it you could solve all of our problems instantly?  Wouldn't that feel great to rid everyone of uncertainty, fear and stress?

Let's say you waived that wand and magically everyone's debt would be eliminated.  All of the student loans, credit cards, car loans, first and second mortgages and payday loans would all disappear.  What do you think people would do after that?  Would they say "Wow, I really learned my lesson there.  I am never going to dig myself into that hole ever again.  Let's get started on a savings plan and a budget!"  Or, do you think that their first thoughts will be "Hey, now that I don't have those bills to pay anymore, I can take that trip to Hawaii using my credit cards and I can get a loan for that motorcycle I've always wanted"?

And let's say you waived the magic wand again and instantly everyone who has been chronically unemployed or underemployed for such a long time would have the job they have always said they've wanted or that would be "perfect for them".  I'm guessing that the NFL and the NBA would suddenly have about 30-thousand teams each and that the IStore would suddenly have about five-million new "artists" with songs to be downloaded.  Would those newly employed folks say "Wow, this is my big chance.  I'd better not blow it by failing to show up for work every other day.  And I'm not going to come to work all hungover or strung out anymore.  And when the boss tells me to do something, I'm going to do it without question or complaint!"  Or do you think it would take about two weeks before they fell right back into the same pattern of "I'm too sick to come into work again today." And "(Expletive) that (expletive) if he thinks I'm (expletive) going to do that (expletive).  He can kiss my (expletive)."

And let's waive the magic wand one more time to give everyone free health care.  No more having to choose between seeing the doctor or eating.  No more fear of going bankrupt because of a serious illness.  Do you think all of those people who can now see their physicians on a regular basis are going to say "Wow, the doctor is right, I need to take better care of myself.  Today, I'm going to start walking and running, watching less TV, eating better and not smoking"?  Or do you think those regular visits to the clinic will be immediately followed by trips to the grocery store to pickup some more frozen pizzas, Cheetos, Oreos, Marlboros and 24-packs of Milwaukee's Best Light before plopping down on the couch for the "Duck Dynasty" marathon on A&E?

On second thought, maybe a magic wand wouldn't be such a great thing.  You'd wear your arm out waiving it over and over and over and over and over.................

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