Did anyone see the Suze Orman Show Saturday night? I had to attend a wedding so I missed it. I was just wondering if there was a call from "Barry in Washington"? It probably would have sounded something like this:
Suze--Barry in Washington!!! Barry, what can I do for you tonight?
"Barry"--Hi Suze, I'm having a problem with a nation--I mean business that I am running.
Suze--What's the matter, Boyfriend?!?!?
"Barry"--Well, I didn't really have any experience before taking over this, uh, company and now everyone is telling met that I am running it wrong. They all think I am spending too much money and that I am taking on too much debt.
Suze--Well tell me the numbers, let's see you you are doing.
"Barry"--OK, we make 2.6-trillion dollars a year
Suze--Boyfriend, that is amazing!!
"Barry"--but we spend 3.7-trillion a year--and our debt level is 14.6-trillion. And now my creditors are raising my interest rates because they don't think we'll be able to pay it back. They're just stupid right, Suze?
Suze--Are you kidding, Barry?!?! You spend almost one and a half times what you make! No wonder your FICO score is going down!! You are broke, Boyfriend. You need to stop spending money right now and get this under control!!
"Barry"--Um, I can't really do that, Suze. I kinda promised a bunch of people that I would pay all their medical bills, and pay for their mortgages and pay for their kids' college educations and that if they didn't want to work I would pay them not to do it for a couple of years.
Suze--Barry, no wonder people are telling you need to change! How do you make any money?
"Barry"--Well, we've got this tax--I mean sales program where half of our customers pay for all the stuff that everyone else gets.
Suze--I can't believe the half that pay can be very happy.
"Barry"--Suze, they are just a bunch of Tea Party--I mean kooks and uneducated simpletons--those who don't pay love it--because hey, who doesn't like free stuff?
Suze--Barry, can I be honest with you--I think someone else should be running your company. Is there something else you can do?
"Barry"--I don't think so, Suze. I'm committed to this job through next year--and besides, I don't think there's much demand for community organization anymore. I guess I could write a third book about myself.
Suze--I'm sorry, Barry, but unless you can start getting a lot more paying customers--adn drastically lower your expenses--I can't see this business sticking around very long.
"Barry"--Well, what if I call people who don't believe in our program "fatcats" and "greedy"--will that solve the problem?
Suze--I'm letting you go Barry--goodbye my love!!
If anyone recorded that call--or can find it on Youtube--let me know. I'd like to save it for next year.