Friday, March 23, 2012

Maybe the Mayans Were Right

I'm beginning to think the Mayans were right in predicting the end of the world is coming up on December 21st of this year.  I mean, how else to explain what is going on around here?

Earthquakes in Clintonville?  Who had that in the natural disaster pool this year?  I fully expect "I survived the Clintonville Earthquake" t-shirts to hit local gas stations and the internet any day now.  And now you've got Montello trying to horn in on the earthquake action--with residents there reporting the ground shaking this week.  If this keeps up, Wisconsin's "Big One" will feature Madison sliding into Lake Mendota--just like California will break off into the Pacific Ocean one of these days.

Another sign of the Apocalypse?  How about 80-degree days in Wisconsin in March?  Usually we have to wait until mid-May to see the parade of pasty white legs and muffin tops make their return to the area.  But this year, half the people in the bars for St Patricks Day were showing way too much skin.  UW Oshkosh students will be able to save hundreds of dollars by getting drunk at the beach in Menominee Park instead of having to go all the way down to Padre Island or Panama City--where it's only a few degrees warmer.

With the end obviously now in sight, it might be a good time to revise some of those predictions for 2012.  You can now put me down for the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series.  That should pretty much guarantee the Earth splits in two--with each half hurtling into deep space.  I'm also going to expect President Obama to win re-election as well.  When all the volcanoes on the planet are erupting and spewing red-hot lava and ash into the atmosphere, tripling the federal deficit won't be such a big concern will it?

So we all may as well quit are jobs and get to work on accomplishing all of those things on the "bucket list".  The end is obviously near. 

1 comment:

  1. Qoute: "So we all may as well 'quit are jobs'and get to work on accomplishing all of those things on the "bucket list". The end is obviously near.

    'quit are jobs'? Do you not mean 'our jobs'?