Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dear America, F--- You!! Signed, AARP

Last week I suggested AARP start a new ad campaign to address a survey that found a majority of Millenials had given up hope of having Social Social available when they retire.  I thought ads telling those twenty-somethings that saving for your own retirement was fruitless and you MUST depend on the Federal Government to take care of you in your old age.

Instead, AARP has decided to fall back on their usual modus operandi: threatening politicians....

I was actually surprised the ad doesn't end with the assembled AARP "members" giving the camera "the bird"--sending younger Americans a very direct message as well.  And am I the only one struck by the fact the lead "member" in this ad looks exactly like Walter--commedian Jeff Dunham's curmudgeonly puppet?  I keep looking for a hand up the back of that guy and Jose Jalapeno on a Stick somewhere in the shot as well.

Anyway, here is a script that I think would more accurately sum up the message AARP should be sending to the public:

Our fellow Americans, we here at AARP realize many of you have not had a pay raise for several years--or that you have been displaced from your jobs and are making less than you were before--but you owe us.  Years ago, Congress--with no regard for the actual expense--promised us a whole bunch of stuff to get our votes--and now you have to pay up.

Sure, we lived our entire lives in the greatest sustained period of economic growth in American history and could have easily saved up enough to deal with a longer than expected life-span and retirement and maybe even leave a little bit for you when we are gone--but we didn't.  I mean, pot was expensive back in the '60's--as was cocaine in the '70's, those Saab Turbos we drove in the '80's, our timeshares in the '90's and all of those plastic surgeries and Botox treatments we got in the 2000's.  So now we don't have enough to make it for another 20-years.

Besides, there are 50-million of us--and we vote in higher percentages than the rest of you--so quit your complaining and give us what we think we deserve!

Wouldn't you like such honesty in advertising?

1 comment:

  1. The last three days of comments should be in the wall street journal;and be discussed in the schools. Instead all we here about is the "give us your stuff" crowd that wants everything for nothing. Great insite on your part.