Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Life--Through the Eyes of a Liberal

With the Earth Charter Summit at UW-Oshkosh this week, I thought I would take a look at a day in my life through the eyes of those trying to "save the planet".

I awoke yesterday and shuffled into the bathroom.  Since I have a regular-flow toilet and no restrictor on my shower head I placed further stress on our freshwater supply and lowered the level of Lake Winnebago by a milli-micron--threatening habitat for thousands of fish and other wildlife.

To get dressed, I turned on a light fixture that uses two incandescent light bulbs--thereby causing the coal fired power plant owned by Wisconsin Public Service to increase production--resulting in more greenhouse gasses and a further reduction of the polar ice cap by about one square millimeter--further threatening the exisitance of polar bears.

For breakfast I had a couple of brand-name bagels washed down with major dairy milk--thereby promoting the use of processed food products using grains grown on corporate-owned farms that don't use conservation practices.  The milk came from cows provided with steroids to boost production at huge milking operations whose manure control practices threaten rural water supplies.

I drove to work in my gas-guzzling SUV--providing more money to the Royal Family of Saudi Arabia--who will use it buy another fleet of Mercedes-Benzes and swords to cut off the heads of their political opponents.

Once in the newsroom, I fired up three different computers and monitors--requiring more electricity and further shrinking the polar ice cap.  Among the stories I worked on yesterday was the continued negotiations between the Oshkosh Corporation and its United Auto Workers Union employees.  While I provided comments from both sides-I failed to mention the "obscene" profits Oshkosh made from producing "weapons of war" that will only result in further misery and terror for the innocent people of Iraq and Afghanistan for years to come.  The only stories featuring people of color were those involving drug rings and sexual assaults--thereby perpetuating the perception that racial minorities commit a disproportionate number of crimes in Wisconsin.

Since I was pressed for time, for lunch I drove (another palace for a Saudi Prince) to Burger King to get a couple of double cheeseburgers--made with beef that required clearing of more rain forest in Brazil and operation of inhumane slaughterhouses.

I also downloaded the monthly portfolio report for my Roth IRA.  Those mutual funds are filled with shares of greedy Wall Street Corporations--and my investment in them only endorses their anti-worker, anti-"fair share of taxes" agendas pushed by their over-compensated CEO's.

After driving home in my SUV (another yacht for the Saudis) I settled in to enjoy some Major League Baseball Playoffs on my "energy hog" big-screen HDTV (less ice cap for the polar bears).  The games featured athletes being paid hundreds of millions of dollars to play a game while teachers are forced to pay 12% of their health insurance premiums and 5% toward their retirement benefits.  I also enjoyed a beer with the game--further promoting alcohol use and irresponsible social behavior.

Once the Brewers fell behind by seven runs, I shuffled back to bed.  And despite the "terrible toll" that I inflicted upon our "fragile" planet and my fellow man in the previous 19-hours--I somehow had no trouble falling right asleep--without an ounce of guilt.

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